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The smirk that covered Xander’s face was broad, but tinged with shadows. “I’ll never understand that.”
“Which part of it?”
He sighed and leaned against the bar. “Marriage should be about honesty. If you want to fuck the secretary or the pool boy or the business partner, just tell each other.”
Would Megan and Nigel tell each other? Presumably, considering the last week, but would she put up with it long term, based on what her last two fiancés did?
“Of course, I’m not one to talk about honesty in marriage.” Xander winced. “Forget I said that.”
“I didn’t hear a thing. And I’d continue to forget hearing anything if you’d like to keep talking.”Pleasekeep talking. Distract me from my own mind a little longer.
This time his grin was outright sad. “I’ve been married for two years, and no one knows except our very closest friends.” Xander’s voice went quiet. “My husband and I don’t even tell anyone we’re together.”
“I couldn’t do that.” It was one reason I didn’t want to keep going with Nigel and Megan—I didn’t want to become their dirty little secret. Or that was just an excuse. “Not that I’m judging. To each their own and you do what you need to.”
“Which part couldn’t you do, Mr. I’m-dating-a-gender-neutral-pronoun?”
“The part where I’m the secret. How do you do it?” Maybe I’d pick up some tips.
Xander finished off his second drink. “I love him, and this is what he needs from me. It sucks sometimes, to not shout it to the world, but every time I see him… His smiles, his scowls… Wow I’m spilling my guts.” He dragged in a shaky breath. “What did you put in this?”
“Seltzer and lime, just like you asked.”
Xander fished a bill from his wallet and tucked it into my front pocket, rather than the tip jar. “Potent stuff—water and love—but it’s worth it.”
He wandered away.
But the conversation lingered, fracturing itself into snippets that applied to me. My problem. I wasn’t sure he was right about love being worth it. Not when I wanted someone—two someones—I was never meant to have. To Megan and Nigel, I was just a guy they went through a list with.
Xander might be fine with the deception, because he got to keep his guy. But I couldn’t be around Nigel or Megan and not be a part of them. It was clear how much in love they were—from Day One it had been glaringly obvious. I didn’t want to break through that; not that I thought it was an option.
Because the party had started early, it wrapped up early as well. That seemed to be the point—make sure people could get home to their families tonight.
As I was changing out of the loaner suit from Roman, I came across Xander’s tip. I’d expected a few bucks, but he’d left me a hundred.
I wasn’t sure it was worth it, considering he left me with more questions than distractions, but it was a nice bonus.
I helped Roman and his crew clean up, and was climbing into my truck to head home when my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number. If it was another stripper job, I wasn’t turning this one down. “This is Landon.”
“Landon, hey. It’s Elliot. I work with Nigel?”
I leaned against my truck as my brain twisted itself into a non-functional mess. “I remember. Hey.”
“Do you have a minute?” He asked.
Not for anyone that had anything to do with a part of my life I was trying to forget. “Sure.”
“I’m looking at bringing a junior developer on, and I’d love to offer you the position.”
What? “What?”
Elliot chuckled. “You did good work the other day. You’re a little raw, but that just means I can teach you how to do it wrong my way instead of dealing with someone else having done it. I’d love to have you come work with us.”
Nope. I must still be hearing him wrong.
That meant working with Nigel. Knowing he was going home to Megan.
But this was my dream job. Literally, the one position I wanted more than anything.
