AllFreeNovel
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I’m going for that new top asset division.
Which by no means implies that I’m content to stay in insurance the rest of my life. But it’s a goal to work toward, even if it’s not my ultimate goal.
Not that I had the slightest clue where to begin with that.
I push “ultimate goal” thoughts out of my brain because dwelling on the big picture will only sour my mood. Instead, I resolve to accept the baby steps I’ve already figured out and divert my attention to applying some mascara and lip balm, something I haven’t bothered doing in weeks.
Blindly digging around in my makeup drawer, I pull out not my tube of barely-there tinted balm, but a deep berry lipstick I’d gotten as a birthday gift last April. I never wore it. Never wore any color on my lips.
Why?
I turned the question over in my mind, but honestly, I had no idea.
And that didn’t seem like a good enough reason to do or not do something. I swipe on the deep color, surprised that the cool, purple-hued red doesn’t clash with my dark auburn locks.
Wrapped in my bathrobe, I head to the closet and pull out some work clothes. Except I don’t. I’m frozen, staring at every neutral gray, cream, and black article of clothing I own.
Neutrals are great. Classic, even. But I don’t own all neutral clothing because I like them.
I own them so I wouldn’t be perceived. So I’d blend in. And that, like the lipstick, isn’t a good enough reason.
“Fuck that,” I say, grabbing a pair of black trousers and a black knit top. I’m going shopping ASAP. Maybe I’ll even invite Michelle along. I’ll try on everything, every color, style,everythinguntil I find something I actually like.
Another baby step.
Good for me.
“You look way better than yesterday,”Michelle says in her signature tactless but caring way as I climb out of the back of an Uber. I’d left my car at work yesterday, so the ride-share app or walking were my only options, and my feet still hurt from yesterday, so…
She grins at me, her blonde top knot bobbing with the enthusiasm of her words.
“Thanks,” I say, matching her pace to the elevator. “I feel better.” I debate on asking her to come shopping with me, and before I can talk myself out of it, I just blurt it out. “Actually, I was wondering if you and I could—”
Michelle cuts me off with a shrill gasp. “I didn’t tell you what happened after you left the restaurant yesterday.”
“Oh, um—well, actually I was about to ask—”
“Brad came back.”
My fingers go numb, legs muscles tightening with the urge to flee. “He didn’t.”
Michelle nods. “He absolutely did, saying he’d left his keys and wallet in the booth. I was just on my way out, but I saw him walking up the street; so I tucked myself behind the half wall at the host stand.”
I gawk at her.
“What? I had to know if he was up to more gross shit.”
OK, I guess that was fair. “And was he?”
“No. He still looked pretty shell-shocked from whatever you said to him.” Michelle gives me a sidelong glance, as if sizing me up. “Whatdidyou say to him?”
“Oh, um, I just pointed out how pathetic it was that he couldn’t understand that no means no.”
“Yeah, that’s what you said yesterday and I’m not buying it, Lils. That’s not the kinda thing that makes a man piss himself.”
“Well, like I said yesterday, I used much stronger language then.”
“Right…” she says, not believing a single word.
