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I—I didn’t know.
I give her a moment to sort through the chaos of guilt and sadness. She does so quickly and efficiently, which is more than I can say for some in our horde.
When she’s calmer, I ask again.I’ve told you what you wanted to know. Now tell me who marked your flesh.
She stares hard at herself, at me, and raises her chin.I did.
What? Why would you cause yourself harm?
It’s difficult to explain, but when Barbas didn’t return, my thoughts and emotions went to a very dark place. So dark, I couldn’t get myself out. The only thing that made it better was this.She lifts her arm.
I don’t need to see her face to know how important it is that I don’t make light of this. I feel it in every part of her mind.
It makes a certain amount of sense. You wanted to feel better, and you know those cuts release good-feeling hormones.
She narrows her eyes at me.Yes. Just like when you used my dildos to get my head in a better place.
Lily, that was—
She puts a hand up, halting my words.Just, if you need to do that again, you have to ask first, OK?
Utterly stupefied. Rendered speechless.You’re not angry?
I am. But I also understand why it happened. Just like you’re probably angry that I like hurting myself, but you understand why I do it.
Please don’t hurt yourself anymore, Lily. If you need to feel better, we can help with that.
Something new fluttered to life within her. An emotion I couldn’t name. Not hope exactly. But something close.
Only if you agree not to yell at me ever again.
I can make that promise.
She nods to her reflection.OK then. Let’s go get us some souls.
Chapter18
Lily
Mal collects souls from the places he deems most fun.
Barb from hospitals because that’s most appropriate to his sensibilities.
And Rhygel is strategic. He honed his second-sight to such a fine degree that we were in and out with a medium to average quality soul in less than three minutes.
Which allowed us to reap more than Mal and Barb each by about three souls.
We fell into an easy groove and kept working until I couldn’t hold another soul. The moment he left, I was both physically relieved but mentally…
Bored?
Lonely?
I don’t quite know how to explain how empty it feels without a demon in my head, but I avoid thinking about it as much as possible by keeping myself busy and sleeping. A lot.
The moment Rhygel leaves, I fall into bed, bone tired.
The next day I wake with a smile, looking forward to meeting Typhon. With only the smooth-voiced demon yet to meet, my placeholder image of him as King Triton makes even more sense, and imagining his face while I get showered and make breakfast keeps me from thinking about how none of them are here right now.
