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I go deeper, just enough to see what she does. She’s in her room, head under the covers, which I can only tell by the filtered light coming through the white blanket.
Her headspace isn’t troubled like it was in the very beginning. In fact, I’m not getting much from her at all. Emotions, physical sensations, nothing.
For a long time I simply sit with her, hoping she can feel my concern, my empathy. Hoping she will come out on her own.
Hours pass, her body grows hungry, muscles stiff from not moving. But Lily remains locked in a cage of her own making.
We’re all worried about you, Lil. You should have seen how scared Typhon was and how big Rhygel grew. You probably would have enjoyed seeing Rhygel knock Typhon across the dorm.
Nothing. Not a single cue that she even heard me.
You know, I like to hide too,I confess and imagine myself curled up next to her.Ever since I was little, I’d hide in tree trunks and closets, knowing the day would come that I’d have to fight for my place in society. It never seemed right to me. Never felt like something I should have to do.
I put myself into Lily’s mind fully, giving myself control of her body. I pull the covers off her head and smooth the hair from her face.
I hide even now. I use my gifts to hide my true face from everyone, strangers, my brothers, even you, if we were to ever meet in corpore.
I get us up and walk to the mirror affixed to the back of her door. It’s large enough to see her entire body.
And it’ll be large enough for her to see mine.
“Do you want to see who I am, Lily?” I ask with her voice, out loud.
The smallest nod overrides my control. She still hasn’t spoken, but I’ll take anything.
I don’t actually know how to show Lily what I look like, but I release the spells I have over my form and hope that she’s able to see something through her second-sight.
I won’t push too hard, or try to force it by digging into her mind further. I can only release what’s held me back for as long as I can recall, and hope it’s enough.
Slowly, a vague form sketches an outline around Lily. Horns, tail, a broken wing. Tusks jut out from my lower jaw, curving upward to point perpendicularly to my horns.
Thick, leathery skin covers Lily’s, and finally, the eyes come into focus.
Glowing, red. Terrifying.
You look like Pumbaa.
Her voice is so small, I almost miss it.
What’s a Pumbaa?
A cute, funny warthog from a beloved children’s movie.
Cute? Funny? Those words fall from her tongue as easily as always, even when she sees me like this?How can you say those things? I’m horrendous. An abomination.
She shrugs over my control and I recede from her body, letting her have it fully once more.
I guess demons just don’t have good taste like I do.
That makes me laugh, full and loud. And after I’ve collected myself, I carefully bring up the elephant in the room.
What happened?
She lets out a long, deep sigh as she gazes at me in the mirror. The real me. I can hardly believe it.
It was too much. Seeing so much death so often, it just broke me, I guess. I didn’t know it was going to happen. I didn’t know it until I saw that poor woman safe and warm in bed with no knowledge that she’d never wake again.
I don’t respond immediately, giving her time in case she has more to say. Only when I’m certain she doesn’t do I speak.I thought the hardest ones would be the sudden accidentals. The ones in car wrecks or freak occurrences. The ones who wouldn’t see it coming. But they aren’t. The hardest ones are the—
