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“I think I’d rather stand until you tell me why you guys are here.” This was starting to feel like an intervention, except I don’t have any substance abuse problems.
My mom nods and clears her throat. “Alright then. Your friend Michelle here has raised some concerns to us that we thought we should get out in the open.”
I glance at Michelle, totally baffled. “What concerns?”
Michelle crosses her arms, expression closed off. “Lil, you lied about what happened at the Hamptons to me.”
Fuck. “I—”
“And don’t bother saying you didn’t. I saw the news reports. They all said there were no survivors.”
Oof. If I had realized that, I would have amended my lie.
“And I know I couldn’t have gone to the hospital, because I woke without a hospital band. Plus, I’m allergic to most barbiturates—the sedatives they usually give people. If I were unconscious, the hospital staff wouldn’t have known that and I would have woken covered in hives.” Michelle hugs her arms around her middle and steps back.
Like she’s scared of me.
So my mom decides to pile on. “Michelle also mentioned some erratic behavior.” She motions to the pile of lily garbage. “She says you were talking to yourself and acting strung out.”
I sigh and rub my hand across my face. “OK. I think I can clear all this up.”
But they’re not finished. This time, Dad has something to say. “I can tell you’ve been cutting yourself again, Lils.”
The world falls away, caves in on me, and sucks me into it all at the same time.
How dare he bring that up now, in front of Michelle? As if that has anything to do with…
Anything!
“It’s been a lot for you lately with Tad and your work and your mom relapsing. But we just want to help. We just want you to be happy. So why don’t you tell us what you’ve gotten yourself into and we’ll go from there.”
I’m absolutely mortified.
He knew. All this time.
Even in high school. He knew, and he never said anything. He kept that secret for me.
So why bring it up now?
“Lily? We just want what’s best for you.”
Since high school.
That’s when this started. That’s when my life began feeling like it wasn’t mine. Like I was just on some amusement park ride trying to hold on, doing everything the ride attendant told me to do. I did everything I was supposed to do, and none of it felt right.
None of it felt like me.
Because it never was.
Not even then.
“You’re right, Dad, I have been cutting again. And everything else you’ve all said is true too. But there’s a good reason for it all.”
I back up, laying my new dress atop the lily carnage, and make sure all three of them have a good view of me.
“See, I’m a demon slayer.Thedemon slayer, actually. First of my kind. And yeah, I’ve been acting a little weird while I get used to it. And I’ve told some lies, but only to protect you from truths you weren’t ready for.”
Of course, they don’t believe me. I wouldn’t believe me.
