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I shake my head, palming his cheek. “That’s what it does, though. That’s not on you, Drago.”
He nods, slowly. “So why can’t you see the same for yourself?”
Because it’s different. Why can’t he see that? I’m not the Champion, and I should have the magic to help him. I was a goddamn healer, for Christ’s sake.
But now, what am I?
What the fuck am I? Some receptacle for magic to chill in until it’s time to move on? Magic I never wanted and can’t even fucking get to when I need it most!?
“Magic fucked us both, Willa. You know that. We’re so similar it sometimes overwhelms me. So if this isn’t my fault, then it’s not yours either.”
Jonah grabs my hand, yanking me toward him, hard. Hard enough to clear my head a little.
“What are you doing?” he asks, plainly.
So I answer plainly. “Spiraling. Freaking out. Blaming myself.”
He nods. “Is any of that helpful?”
I shake my head. “Not really.”
“Then why are you doing it?”
I gesture vaguely to Drago’s stump. “It’s kind of a lot, and I can’t do anything about it anymore. I never wanted Mari to take the mantle from me anyway, and I don’t understand why I can’t get to the witch magic to help and,nothing makes any sense right now!”
Jonah nods, smoothing the sweat-soaked hair out of my face. “Yeah. Sure. All of that is totally normal. But I need you to hear this, Willa.” Those velvety brown eyes bore into me, and I do my best to focus on just that. Just Jonah’s beautiful eyes and his soft, warm voice.
“I saw the claw marks on the sheets before they were taken to be cleaned.”
I’m not sure what he’s getting at, but it gets my attention real quick.
“And I saw the splintered and broken door casing before we came to pack lands. Drago and I almost came to blows over it because I thought it was him. I thought he was out of control.
“He assured me it wasn’t, but I didn’t believe him. Not fully. Not until I saw it with my own eyes.”
I’m still confused as fuck. “What are you saying?”
“Willa, you forced Rafe and me to our knees with dominance to get to your witch friend. You kept us from interfering by calling up a windstorm to encircle you. And when you came to encourage Drago, you grew tall enough to lookoverthe scourge.”
My head’s spinning. None of this makes any sense and none of ithelps Drago.“I-I don’t know what to do with any of that right now.”
“Yeah, me either. But whatever’s going on in your head right now is wrong. It’s lies and trauma and self-doubt, and we don’t have time for it.
“Whatever is going on with the magical end of things, we’ll figure it out. But until then, I need you to know that you’re the most powerful wolf, the best fucking mate, and the greatest healer I’ve ever known. I need you to believe me. And I need you to believe in yourself.”
Do you believe in yourself now?
Claudia’s words echo in my mind.
You’ll have to make a choice, and I pray you make the right one.
Is this it? Is this the choice I’m supposed to make?
Fear or action.
Suffering or achievement.
I couldn’t get stuck here. I wouldn’t let Drago die in the middle of woods that aren’t home because I can’t get my shit together and fuckingthink.
