AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter Thirty-Two
For the second night, Stephen dreamed about Lady Belle. It was the same dream, not a single thing out of place.
He found himself sitting in a crowded ballroom, eyes wandering around the faceless ladies and gentlemen that surrounded him. He knew his Mother wanted him to find a wife—it was why he was here in the first place. But as he searched, he could not find anyone that stood out to him. Many faceless women were bold enough to approach him, but he turned them away.
And then, she appeared. Stephen rose on instinct, as if he’d know she would arrive. Without stopping, he weaved his way through the throng of people until he came to a stop in the very center of the ballroom. The faceless people danced around him, music swirling throughout the air.
She moved to the rhythm of that music, her eyes on him. Lady Belle, a beauty among the masses. Each step closer to him had her smile widening and she did not stop until she was standing directly before him, until she was looking up into his eyes.
“I do,” she murmured softly.
Suddenly, the music changed. They were no longer in a crowded ballroom but standing in a large church. Those faceless ladies and gentlemen were seated among the pews. Decorations hung around them, a priest awaiting his answer.
Stephen’s smile encompassed his entire face as he said, “I do.”
Lady Belle laughed happily. She dropped the flowers she held in her hand and a rose was stomped under her feet as she stepped closer and threw her arms around his neck. She kissed him fiercely, her tongue instantly wrestling for control.
Stephen forgot all about the guests and kissed her back just as fervently. He wrapped an arm around her back, pulling her closer to him and feeling that familiar warmth of need spread through him at her breasts molded against him. She moaned against his lip, pulled away, and pushed him.
Stephen fell back on a bed. Belle stood over him, slipping what was left of her clothing off her shoulders and he could hardly watch as it pooled on the ground beneath her. She was beautiful in her nakedness and she crawled on top of him, slowly yet eagerly.
With a growl, he grasped her tightly and swung her around until she was the one who was lying underneath him. Stephen didn’t think he could control himself a moment longer. She was panting, desperate to have him fill her and he was desperate to give her what she wanted.
But the moment he unsheathed himself, about to enter her warmness, Stephen jolted away. He was panting and he knew that from the tightness of his pants, his body had responded to the dream.
Another one?Stephen couldn’t blame his mind for conjuring such a dream. For two days now, he had been consumed with the thought of Belle and when he wasn’t thinking about her, he was giving into the debilitating guilt from his mother’s confession. As a result, he had been a walk mass of raw emotions and he was no closer to sorting through them.
I should go for a walk. That should clear my head at least.
Stephen waited a short while for his body to calm down before he got out of the bed and fetched the gas lamp that was sitting on a nearby table. With the lamp lighting his way throughout the dark hallway, he set off aimlessly.
Before long, he realized where he was going. He stepped out into the cool night air, taking a deep breath. The freshness filling his lungs seemed to revitalize him, but it also reminded him of the first deep breath he’d taken the night after the storm all those weeks ago. The night after he had met Belle. It seemed everything served to remind him about her.
Not lingering any longer, he made his way to the stables. He ran his hand over the snout of his own horse as he passed back, heading down to the very end. There, a midnight black horse slumbered.
“I should have known the truth the moment I saw you,” he said to the horse, who didn’t move at his silent approach. “You are a magnificent beast. It made no sense for a commoner to own a horse as precious as you.”
Suddenly, Shadow blew air out her nose. A passive response if he’d ever seen any. Stephen laughed, but the laughter quickly died as another thing occurred to him. “You miss your owner, don’t you? I’m sure she misses you too. I must give you back, mustn’t I?”
He stepped closer to Shadow. “But then, I’m not sure if that is a good idea. Perhaps my Mother was right about Serena. Perhaps I truly should be considering the dukedom for once. I cannot help but consider it when everything I knew was a lie. Perhaps I am wrong about this as well?”
It might have been his imagination, but it almost felt as if the horse was truly listening to what he was saying, with the way she stared at him. Stephen felt the strength to go on, needing to get it all out, even if it was to a horse. “How could I have been so wrong? How could I have been so blind? My Father...he was the one who had been hurting all this time. Not my Mother. She was the one who had been causing all his pain when I had believed that his distance was because he no longer loved her, and because he loved someone else.”
He sighed heavily, resting his forehead on the back of the hand that was on the horse. “Now that I know the truth, it feels as if my entire life was a lie. I do not know what to do.”
About Serena. About Belle. About my Mother. I just don’t have the answers.
He sighed, lifting his head and giving Shadow a pat. “I do not expect you to know any more than I do. But thank you for being a listening ear, nonetheless.”
To that, Shadow whinnied loudly, throwing her head back as if to tell him to stop touching her. Stephen chuckled. “I understand, I understand. There is no need to be so hostile now, is there? I will leave you be, but perhaps I will return once I find myself in need of a listening ear.”
Stephen turned away, leaving the stables. As odd as it was, he felt the slightest bit better now that he had spoken aloud about his issues, but that didn’t make it any easier to sort through what he should do next. He felt as if he was walking around in circles, returning to the same thoughts that had plagued him before and never finding a solution.
I won’t have an answer tonight, that is certain.Stephen made his way back to his bedchamber. He settled back into bed, letting the fatigue settle back into his body and ease him into a deep sleep.
When Stephen awoke again, it was late morning. He pulled himself out of bed and got dressed alone. His grumbling stomach was the only reason he was heading down to eat, though he did not want to see his mother. He would eat alone, in an empty drawing room, or perhaps in his office.
As he made his way downstairs, he sent the order off with the butler and made his way to his office where he’d spent the last two days thinking. Simply thinking about his past, about his future, about the things he should do, the people he loved. Belle, his mother, they were constantly on his mind and brought a myriad of emotions that Stephen needed silence and his own company to sort through.
