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As he gently nipped at her lower lip, he heard her gasp in pleasure and surprise, and her hips shifted forward against him. His abdomen clenched with longing, his breath as ragged as hers. What he would not have given to lay her on the floor and peel away her drenched dress, and have her release him from his trousers, so that they could meld together in the lantern light and scream their bliss into the roar of the storm, unheard by anyone but themselves.
I would be gentle. I would worship you here, at our own private altar of bliss. I would honor your maidenhood and bring you untold ecstasy. I would taste you, kiss you, caress you until you no longer knew where you ended and I began…
“Dorian… Oh, Dorian…” She panted, her eyes closed, her neck arching back, inviting him to kiss her exposed throat and elicit more of those deliciously unbearable gasps from her lips. He kissed his way back up to her mouth to catch those gasps as they escaped, his hand smoothing up the curvature of her waist, edging toward the swollen rise of her breast.
You have been here before. Remember how it ended. A moment of pleasure, and for what? Twelve years of misery, wishing you could have done things differently, wishing you had never coupled with ‘her,’ wishing you could have tamped down your lust so that she would not have suffered as she did.
He paused just shy of the temptation of her breast and stepped back with a strangled cry of horror, as though he had been struck with a bolt of lightning or had touched his fingertip to the lantern flame and singed himself.
I cannot do this to Rose, too. I cannot give in to my desires, or I will surely bring devastation down upon her.He observed her in the lantern light, for it took her a moment or two to realize what had happened and that Dorian was no longer holding her and kissing her. She had never looked more perfect, her eyes closed and content, her cheeks flushed with pink, her lips slightly swollen where they had devoured one another in their passionate hunger.
Slowly, she opened her eyes, and that expression of contentment transformed into one of confusion, with a hint of worry and hurt in her enchanting gaze. He had poured icy water upon their inferno of ardor, and now he had to look upon the vulnerable ashes that remained.
“I apologize, Rose,” he said softly. “I should not have done that. I should have restrained myself for your sake. But please know, you have no cause to worry. This was my fault, not yours. You are blameless.”
She blinked, visibly crestfallen. “Did I do something wrong? Did I… not kiss correctly? I have never done it before, so I do not know how.” She swallowed loudly. “Have I disappointed you?”
His heart broke for her. “You have not disappointed me in any fashion or done anything wrong, Rose. Your kiss was… remarkable. Utter perfection, in truth.” His breath hitched. “However, I should not have let my personal feelings for you get in the way of my propriety. I ought to have behaved like a gentleman toward you, and not like a blackguard in the street.”
She shook her head effusively. “You didn’t, Dorian. You were, and are, the epitome of a gentleman. You haven’t caused me any offense or upset me in any way. I… wanted to kiss you and be kissed by you. I have wanted that since the meadow.”
“As have I, but… I should not have allowed myself to get carried away by my desire for you and my affection for you,” he admitted, the guilt of his last indiscretion, all those years ago, prompting nightmares to circulate in his mind. “You should not be near me, like this. I am a danger to you simply by confessing that I care for you.”
“You aren’t a danger to me. How could that be true if we both feel like this?” Rose tried to walk toward him, but he put up his hands as if to create an invisible barricade between them. “You say you care, so do not run from that, because I care for you, too.” Her voice sounded so bitterly sad that he could not bear to hear the pain there. He longed to take her in his arms again and make that go away.
He sighed heavily. “It is more than mere care, Rose. That is why it would be catastrophic for you if we continued in this manner.”
I would not have you come to loathe me as “she” did, when all was said and done…And she had not stopped haunting his dreams since. He would not add another vengeful presence to his already restless nights if he could help it. Regardless of how swiftly he was falling in love with Rose, and how desperately he longed to kiss her again, and feel her in his arms, and take that woeful expression off her face.
She held his gaze with a look of curiosity. “It is more than mere care for me, too. I knew that the moment you kissed me. Perhaps before.”
How do I say that I adore you? How do I say that I want to love you and be loved by you? I want to… but I don’t know how.He was in extreme turmoil, fighting between the past and the present. But he knew one thing; he could not think straight with her here, in front of him, her dress soaked through. He needed time and space to think this through and decide if the gamble with her safety was worth it.
“The rain has stopped,” he said abruptly. Peering out at the lake, he saw that the downpour no longer pattered against the black mirror of the surface. Reluctantly, he went to the door and opened it. “I will wait outside until you have dried somewhat, and then I shall see you returned to the house.”
