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“You’re afraid,” she called back. “You’d rather be the one to shoulder the pain of letting me go, rather than seeing me hurt again. I understand that, but I’m saying… I’m willing to bear it for us to be together. You can’t fool me, Dorian.”
With one upward push, she got to her feet. Blinding agony pulsed through her body as she forced herself to put weight on her injured leg and hobbled forward. Using the armchair to steady herself, she willed him to turn around and look at her.
“I’m not lettingyougo, Dorian. I love you. I don’t want to be without you, so don’t throw me to the wolves,” she pleaded. “What do you think will happen to me if you turn me out of this house? Do you think I’ll be able to carry on with my life as if everything’s fine? No, the world outside will eat me alive, and I’ll be left to wonder what I did wrong, and what I did to deserve your scorn when you swore that you loved me in return. At least, that you were falling in love with me.”
He whirled around, and his eyes widened, as Rose let go of the armchair and pushed on toward him, tears running down her cheeks against the pain in her leg and the pain he was inflicting on her. All of her life, she had sat meekly by while her father had crushed her spirit to smithereens. This time, she would fight with all she had for what she wanted.
“What are you doing?” he cried. “The physician said you cannot move your leg until it is fully healed! Do not walk to me, Rose. I beg of you, do not!”
Rose clenched her jaw. “Then don’t say I was a mistress or a plaything. Don’t try to cast me aside as if I was worth nothing to you. Don’t lie and pretend everything you said to me was a falsehood. I assure you, that hurts more than any physical injury.” She continued to stagger toward him, though black spots danced in her field of vision, and she felt as though she might faint.
He rushed forward with fear in his eyes and scooped her up into his arms, as he had done in the meadow, though her memory of that was somewhat hazy.
“Oh Rose, why did you do that?” Dorian murmured, blinking back tears.
“To show you that I’m not afraid, even if you are,” she replied. With what little strength she had left, she lifted a hand to his face and turned his cheek so he would have to look into her eyes. “Let me protect you by being with you. When you’re given something good in life, you don’t throw it out because you’re scared of what might happen.”
Pulling her torso upward, she kept hold of his face and pressed her lips to his. For a moment, his mouth did not move, echoing her surprise in the initial seconds of their first kiss. Undeterred, she moved her lips slowly, setting the familiar, sensual pace they had enjoyed before. Soon enough, as if stirred from unconsciousness, he began to kiss her back in that same blissful rhythm. She only wished she could have reveled in it without the sharp stab of pain jolting through her leg.
“Have faith in us,” she whispered, pulling away slightly. Gently, she brushed away the tears that meandered down his cheeks. “And don’t rely on a whiskey bottle to send you to sleep. Sleep by me instead, and we can both chase away one another’s demons.”
His breath caught in his throat. “Sleep by you? What if the staff were to find us?”
“They already gossip at their leisure.” She managed a strained chuckle. “Why should we worry what they say when they will say what they want about us anyway?”
He carried her over to the bed and lay her back down, plumping up the pillows for her head. “I suppose I would sleep easier, knowing you were well, and that I would be in a position to raise the alarm if your health should falter.”
“I think I’d sleep easier, too, with you near.” Rose smiled.
Shyly, he went around the bed and clambered in from the other side, shuffling his body closer until he was right beside her. She turned onto her side, facing away from him, and discreetly placed a cushion between her knees to alleviate the pressure on the wounded leg. Her smile broadened, and her cheeks flushed with pleasure as she felt him put his arm around her waist, pulling her against him until he was wrapped around her back like an extra blanket.
She rested her arm against his and nestled into the warmth of the pillow and the bedclothes, though it was Dorian himself who brought her the most comfort.
“If it’s too warm, you don’t have to share all the blankets,” she said quietly.
He kissed her neck. “I do not mind the heat, as long as you are content.” He cuddled her closer. “I am sorry for the things I said. I hope you truly know that I did not mean them. You are my blessing, Rose. You are my light and my hope and my love, and I would not lose you for the world.”
She twisted her head back and kissed him on the lips, making it last, before she resumed her sleeping position. “I didn’t believe a word, so all is forgiven. Just… don’t try to push me away again. And I wouldn’t lose you for the world, either, or for the sake of my leg.”
“I love you,” he murmured against her skin.
“I love you, too,” she replied, closing her eyes.
As they drifted off to sleep together, she prayed no more nightmares would come to change his mind again, for this felt like a heartening step in the right direction for a united future. Judging by the cold sweat that dampened her skin, the searing pain in her leg, the rapid race of her heart, and the black spots that still danced in her vision, this one attempt to pull him back from the brink of his worries had almost killed her. Yet, wrapped in his arms, it felt worth it.
