AllFreeNovel
Share Us
* * *
Bertram had no idea why he even decided to go up to the balcony. He’d sat at his desk for ten minutes, just staring at nothing and then stood up and walked as if propelled by outside forces. When he saw the corner of her blue gown spread out on the floor of the balcony he’d hesitated, meaning to turn back and go away and leave her alone. But she heard him and then it was too late.
What in goodness possessed me to kiss her?
Aside from her wide tear-stained gray eyes, unable to hide a single emotion, long lashes fluttering with glittering drops of tears. Her lips were bitten, swollen and red. Her cheeks flushed, bosom heaving. Everything in her appearance called to him to hold her and comfort her. Yet at the same time, he wanted to reach out and cup the misery he could see on her face, drink it all in. To see her, to know her, without any of the pretenses she usually put up.
It was heady.
He might have lost his mind a little.
Even as he practically ran from her presence, he could feel his hands shake with the aftermath of that kiss that he had not meant to give. He could still feel the wetness of her tongue on his top lip. His teeth still tingled from sinking into the soft flesh of her bottom lip…even as his cheek still stung from her slap.
He sank into the large leather chesterfield by the window of his office, staring outside and thinking.
You have to send her away.
The voice of duty called loudly within him. His duty to his reputation and as an officer. On the other hand, his instinct begged him to do the opposite.
We cannot help who we are born. But it is time to stop running away from what we want.
He grunted at the words, as if some other person had said them aloud to him. He could admit, perhaps, that he might have developed a certain…affection for the spy. But in spite of her ulterior motives, Lady Perrin was right—there was no way he could introduce her to society at his side.
She could be your mistress.
The same voice whispered enticingly. And perhaps she could. A woman like her was not likely to care too much about societal proprieties. He fidgeted in his seat, wanting to go back up to her, and speak of it, but was still feeling a little too embarrassed of his rapid exit to do so.
“Later. I’ll leave it until later. We can speak after supper.”
Nodding his head with resolution, he went back to this letters and tried to focus on them. Try as he might to thrust their encounter to the back of his mind, the feel of her soft lips on his remained strong and his hand kept rising to touch his mouth with reverence.
