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“Do you think he would judge us to arrive together, unchaperoned?” she wondered aloud.
He kissed her cheek reassuringly. “No, my dear. He is likely not to follow the same strict rules of the city, either.”
Lydia had thought to ask him a question but was quickly distracted by his mouth seeking hers again. Michael took her bottom lip between his teeth, making her whimper in desire.
“I also love how you allow me to tease you,” he said, laughing, “then join me in a battle of wits. You are an extraordinary woman.”
She reached for him, lightly touching his ribs with her hand. Despite the fact that she wanted to draw him closer to her, or on top of her, she held back. With delicacy, she kissed him back, lingering, seductively.
“At most, you might arrive at Wexford with bruised lips, swollen from being crushed,” Michael mused, tracing a thumb over her bottom lip. “Top that, I think, Mr. Weller will be quite oblivious.”
Michael traced around the neckline of her dress, teasing at pulling it lower. She wished that he would touch the bare flesh that lay hidden by her dress. Closing her eyes, she relished the sensation.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Michael prompted.
She blushed, afraid to admit her true thoughts.
“Tell me,” he laughed. “If it makes you feel better, I shall say, I am thinking of what it would be like to undress you and see you bared before me.”
She opened her eyes, bashful. “I was thinking of what it might feel like to have you between my legs.”
His eyes opened wide, shocked by her admission. “My dear, what a brazen woman you are. Would you like that very much?”
She simply nodded. He let out a long sigh.
“My, what I would give to feel that as well.”
“It is such a shame that we will never experience it,” she noted. “For we will not marry, and I cannot have such relationships with a man that would not be my husband.”
He sat back, chastised. “Unfortunately, so it is.”
She had hoped that his desire would lessen his commitment or consider that he might indeed marry her. However, his reaction suggested that his resolve was steadfast. Her feeling of betrayal mocked her, as she had no right or claim over him, no just reason to feel hurt. With no promises made, there were no promises to break.
Michael merely looked thoughtful, watching her run over her options in her mind. Running down a list of options, she considered most heavily that she wanted to kiss him again, regardless of the outcome. Yet, the torment in her body reminded her that she needed to be true to herself.
He made the decision harder by taking her hand again in both of his, caressing her gently. She felt him when he placed his fingers on the hollow of her thumb, feeling her heartbeat there. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself.
“My lady, I enjoy every moment that we have together,” he said, his voice low and husky. “No matter what happens, I wish you to remain my friend. Even if you marry and your husband whisks you away to some far- off foreign land, I hope you think of me, write to me, or stop for a visit, if you are nearby.”
“What have I deserved to earn your friendship?” she asked, perplexed. “The circumstances under which we have grown familiar were unsavory, founded upon a lie that I begot. I am a woman deigned for another man.”
“You have satisfied me in no way any wayward woman ever has or could have,” he told her. “You have taught me how a man might get to know a woman’s heart and soul, more than her body.”
“To what end?” she asked. “You will not marry. What purpose does this lesson serve you?”
“To help me be happy in life, for once, just now,” he said. “Even if I never marry, I might look back on our weeks together and believe that I got to experience what it was like.”
“I can see it, then. You do wish you could marry. Perhaps not me, maybe some other fortunate soul. But you would want it, would you not?”
“I shall never want it,” he vowed. “Not with any other woman. You tempt me yes, but my resolve is strong. As soon as our engagement is at an end, I will go back to my roving ways.”
Frustrated by his adamancy, she reached over to him, grasping his lapels, and kissing him deeply. However, as soon as he reached for her, she pulled away.
“What I would give to convince you otherwise!” she cried. “You vex me completely. How can someone deny themselves the happiness they deserve?”
“I pose the same question back to you! Why do you deny yourself, the feelings you obviously have? You only have to say the word, and I would gladly show you how I could satisfy you.”
