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Michael frowned deeply, irritated by her words of wisdom. However, she looked at him expectantly, such that he was reminded to be polite. “I will consider your advice, my lady.”
She nodded with a smile, gently patting his arm, before turning away, back into the crowd.
* * *
At home the next day, Lydia sat in the sitting room with her sisters, reading and waiting for suitors to call. Typically, they expected flowers, at least, to arrive from the interested suitors, if not visits from the most interested of those.
Mr. Weller was the first to call, arriving almost as soon as it was appropriate that afternoon. As Johanna entertained him, the Marquess of
Winchester arrived, taking another corner of the room with Trinity.
Lydia watched them over the top edge of her book, noticing how Trinity leaned into him as he talked, laughing too easily at his jokes. She smiled, realizing that her sister was indeed smitten with the young widower. She glanced occasionally to Mr. Weller and Johanna, who sat close, with their heads bent together, whispering to each other.
Several other suitors popped in for Marcia and Lucretia. Another gentleman even called on Trinity, but when finding the marquess there, he dropped off his flowers and bowed quickly away.
Lydia had hoped that Michael would call, as he had promised, but as the afternoon dragged on, she admitted to herself that she had hoped falsely. Not a single other suitor called on her, either, though Wycliff had sent a bouquet of flowers to her. She was almost nodding off, bored by her book, and lulled by the warm summer heat, when a footman finally announced his name. Her mother and her sisters all looked up in surprise when Michael stepped in.
“He’s more handsome in person,” Marcia hissed to Lucretia, who shushed her promptly. Lydia glared at them.
“Good afternoon, ladies,” he greeted, bowing to the room. He faced her mother, asking, “Would you mind if I had the room alone with Lady Lydia?”
“Whatever for?” she asked, indignant.
“Just a brief discussion, in private,” he asked, gently. “I know it’s untoward.”
Martha gave him a hard look, simultaneously threatening and skeptical. She motioned to the girls. “Ladies, if you would.”
They all groaned, muttering to themselves.
“Many thanks,” he said, bowing to each of them as they left the room.
When the room was finally empty, Lydia stood, facing Michael. The quietness of the space, as full as it had been just a moment before, seemed eerie.
“It’s kind of you to call on me,” Lydia started, once they were alone. “You didn’t have to.”
“I promised you I would,” he said. He twisted his hands together, an anxious gesture that made Lydia nervous.
“Do you have something on your mind, Michael?” she asked in a soft voice.
He looked to the floor for a moment. “I have been thinking quite hard, over the past few days, and I believe that I have been incredibly unfair to you, my lady.”
“What do you mean?”
He met her gaze. “I mean, that I have indulged myself and you, in allowing us both to chase passions that we know cannot and should not be fulfilled. I have knowingly, willingly, spoiled myself, a characteristic that I have learned through my roving.”
“I do not understand-” Lydia said, brow furrowed.
“What I am saying, Lydia, is that by allowing myself to act on my attraction for you, I have allowed myself to develop feelings for you that cannot be acted upon. I have fallen deeply in love with you, but it means absolutely nothing.”
She wanted to gasp, to admit to him that she loved him in return, but as soon as she opened her mouth, he stopped her.
“No, listen. I know you have feelings for me as well. I have taken advantage of you, knowing you felt that way. What I should have done, knowing that this course of action was doomed, would have been to distance myself from you, to kill the fledging love before it matured into this deep- rooted thing.”
“You speak of madness!” she cried, stepping closer to him.
He held his hand up, staying her.
“No, Lydia, darling. Come no closer. I mean what I say. I mean to put an end to this now. What exists between us can be no more than a business arrangement, a verbal contract that I will not renege. But it cannot be more, more for your sake than mine.”
