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Chapter Forty
No one said anything on the agonizing carriage ride back home and as soon as they arrived, Nicholas took her hand again and led her into the house, walking past Bentley without giving the chance to greet them.
"We are not to be disturbed, Bentley,” he called over his shoulder.
He released her hand once they were ensconced within the confines of his study, leaving her feeling bereft. He’d not needed to hold her hand but he had, nevertheless, and she appreciated it.
“I’ll give you the truth, Jenny.” He went to his desk and retrieved something from the drawer which he set on the table. It looked like a document of some sort.
"This here…” he pointed at the document, “Is the reason why I cannot give you what… WhatIwant."
Warily, Jenny approached the desk, dreading each step she took toward the inevitable truth. Her breath caught in her throat when she picked it up and read through it, unable to believe her eyes. The marriage document was all but undisputable in its authenticity.
"I was reckless and now, years later, the innocent people around me, those that mean the most to me are paying the price. I discovered this on the night of the Heartsbay fire. I have no recollection of the event because I was inebriated but I cannot deny it." He continued to explain but Jenny only heard half of what he was saying. The rest was drowned by the sound of her breaking heart thumping loudly.
Her legs trembled. They would not hold her for much longer and she sought to sit down in the chair before the unlit hearth. "You should have told me yourself. Youcouldhave told me this, Nicholas, but you let me find out fromher. Do I truly mean nothing to you? Or is it because I am not your wife?"
"No!" he cried. "Don't you say that. Don't you dare say that, Jenny." He knelt down in front of her and took both of her hands.
"Then why, Nicholas? Why do you choose to put us both through this heartache instead?"
"Because I love you!" he said, his eyes clouding with emotion. "Do you hear me, Jenny? I love you. No one else butyou. I have loved you all these years and I am ashamed that it took me this long to embrace and admit it."
A gasp was all she could muster because she was at an utter loss for words. She desperately wanted for it to be true but feared that with a single word uttered by her, everything might turn out to be a dream. "I have to protect you for any eventuality. That is why I cannot give you all of me,” he added.
“I don’t understand,” she said at last after gaining her voice.
“Our marriage can be annulled and you will be free if I cannot extricate myself from Vanessa.”
That jolted her senses awake. “Our marriage willnotbe annulled. If you are telling me the truth, then you will give me a piece of you even if you cannot give me everything.” She placed her hands on his shoulders. “Right here, right now, forget everything and prove to me your love, Nicky."
A shudder ran through him and he muttered something that sounded likeconsequences be damnedbefore rising and pulling her flush against him, kissing her with a fire like never before. Jenny poured all her years of longing for him into this kiss, into this one moment. She might lose him after this but she will have him just this once.
He scooped her into his arms and carried her to the room adjoining the study: A living room. The moonlight filtering in through the open curtains was the room’s only illumination but it was perfect. She could see him and he could see her. They could see the love they had for each other.
"I want to see you bathed in nature's glow when I take you, Jenny," he murmured, setting her down on a divan sitting down beside her. He started removing her clothing items one at a time and kissing every inch of her newly exposed skin.
Heat spread through her, pooling in her belly and shooting tiny pulses into the regions she craved him the most. When she reached to help him undress her quicker, he stayed her hands and shook his head,
"We have all night. Let’s savor this, my love." A hundred different thoughts flashed through her mind right then and she began to cover herself, afraid something would interrupt them and she would lose him again.
Very gently, Nicholas removed her hands. “Jenny, I love you and I am not going anywhere tonight. I am yours.”
That melted her defenses and she gave herself up to the pleasure he sought to give her. He pushed her down onto the divan and lavished her body with kisses, worshiping every part of her with his hands and mouth. When he reached her center, she opened for him. The sweetest sensation she had ever felt rushed through her at his kiss and she grasped his hair, pulling him to her.
Nicholas chuckled but he did not stop kissing and stroking her. The room melted around her and she was transported to a place where night but the pleasure he was giving her existed. Then he took her higher and higher until she shattered into a million delightful pieces. Jenny cried out his name and he came up to cradle her trembling body. “Wha—”
“Shhh,” he stroked her hair and kissed her temple, “don’t talk. Just feel.” This was only a part of what they were meant to do tonight but her limbs were already languid from her satiety. She smiled and closed her eyes.
“Are you sleeping?” He asked after some time.
“No,” she replied, snuggling closer to him. “Are you supposed to still be in your clothes?”
He laughed and pulled away to stand. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”
Watching him undress awakened her desire once more and every contour of every taut muscle in his body called out to her to touch him. She rose from the divan and stood in front of him, the tips of her fingers trailing over his broad shoulders then down his chest his muscles jumping at her touch delighted her, encouraging her to go lower, over his belly and down to his—
Nichols caught her hand. “If you touch me there right now, I will not be able to please you as I want to.” His hands moved to cup her behind, lifting her against him.
