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“Umm, I didn’t—”
She cuts me off before I can say another word. “You sit there behind your desk and talk to David about how you still have suspicions of me and that you actually found nothing in all of your so-called sneaking?”
“Lily,” David tries to cut in, but she pushes him off as well.
“From what I understand, you’re looking elsewhere for evidence of my espionage and theft. Me?” Lily stomps closer to my desk, and slams the files down on the corner. The air from the slamming of the files, pushes other items off of my desk. “Me?”
Lily emphasizes her anger by stomping one foot with the last ‘me’ and then crosses her arms. “If you can't trust me, then perhaps I should begin looking for an alternative form of employment?”
David pipes up and says, “Don’t be too hasty Lily,” he tries to caress her arm, but she shrugs her arm out of his reach. “Don’t touch me!”
Seeing her actions and hearing her resolve about finding another job, I feel the color drain from my face. What in the hell am I doing? This is not what I had in mind. I’m literally persecuting this woman. “I’m sorry Lily.”
“Yeah, you said that the other day too,” she says frostily, almost callous. “I mean, really? You have the audacity to accuse me of being dishonest, when you can’t even stand behind your apologies.”
David looks back and forth between me and Lily, wondering what she’s talking about. “What’s happening here?” he asks.
I try to cut in to apologize, but David and Lily are going at it now. “And you! You’ve been talking about me behind my back!” she looks wide-eyed and angry at the revelation of her thoughts.
“While it does look like that, I can assure you that I’m not talking about you behind your back, but defending you,” David says.
Lily looks at me and I sadly say, “Lily I investigated you because you're new and then this stuff started happening. You also have access to the files in question, but I found that you hadn’t even looked into them, not once.”
She glares at me, her chest heaving in and out, still fuming. “So, why did you say you’re going to look elsewhere for proof? Are you that convinced that I did this?” she asks me hatefully.
“I’m sorry, Lily. I am honest to god sorry,” I plead with her about the situation. “Please don’t go, please?”
“And him?” she nudges her nose in his direction, but still keeps her eyes trained on me.
“It’s as he says. He didn’t at any time say you were even remotely guilty,” I lower my head to the floor. “He’s always defended you, unlike me.”
I watch as David takes a seat again and I look at Lily. Her anger has somewhat settled, although it is still present in her body language. I feel like a piece of shit for not once, but twice now blaming her for the breach.
“Lily, it’s all my fault and I carry the blame alone,” I tell her, relinquishing any attempt for excuses.
She just nods and walks out of my office.
Slumping back into the seat of my chair, I run my hands over my face and then slap my knee. “See? Why do I do it?”
“Because it’s always what you have done, James,” David leans across his knees on his elbows staring ahead into some unknown place beyond the office.
“It’s no use trying to make up with her,” I say defeatedly.
The silence hangs in the air, thick and full of turmoil. I can just hear him thinking that he had told me time and again that Lily is in no way responsible for this. But no, I can’t just believe my friend.
I have to push the envelope a little further along, not thinking about anyone that this could hurt. I just feel a need to prosecute someone for this debacle. Maybe I should just debase myself. “What am I going to do now, David?”
David shakes his head at me and shrugs his shoulders. Leaning back in his chair, he props his feet on the corner of my desk, shooting me a know-it-all glance. “Well, for one thing, you have a lot of sucking up to do where Lily is concerned. And I’m not sure that she won’t leave under these conditions.”
I make a face, knowing that he quite possibly is correct. Shaking my head, I lean it on the back on the top of my chair and stare at the ceiling.
“The other thing you might want to do, if your dead set against hiring an investigator, is figure this the hell out and fucking fast,” David says.
I look at him, knowing that he is absolutely correct.
But how do I make it up to Lily?
Thirty-Eight
