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“As do I. But we must live in the real world,” Harriet whispered, her lips close to his neck.
Edward turned back to her and kissed her. For a moment, any self-control he still possessed was swept away. Her body pressed against his, legs parting and her hands quested down his back. Then she brought them around to cover herself and push him away.
“No. We should not,” she said with resolve, stepping back from him.
“You are right.” Edward sighed, “will you join me for another drink?”
He walked to the decanter and poured himself a generous measure.
“No, I should return to my room. In the morning, I’m sure my mother will be well enough to travel and we will trouble you no more.”
Such steel in her voice. I believe she is trying to convince herself. My instinct is to seduce her, break that self-control and make her mine. But, duty is stronger.
“Did you meet anyone tonight that you would be willing to marry?” he said.
“Sadly not. But, I did not put my heart into it. Not like my cousin did, Eleanor.”
“I think I saw her. Quite popular. Perhaps she will succeed where you fail.”
“I hope so.”
“And if she does? Would you continue to be the spinster of the family?”
“No, I would like to be a wife and mother. But, I suppose if Eleanor secures a husband, then I will be free to choose the man I love. If I find such a man.”
“And you will have your freedom,” Edward said, sitting in his armchair and taking a swallow of the amber liquor.
“I will.”
There was a pride in her that Edward admired. She did not complain about her circumstances and chose her own destiny as much as she was able. She had not allowed him to seduce her but chosen to share her body with him. That fact made him feel honored in a way that he usually did not. So often, intimacy with a woman was a matter of conquest. A seduction had always meant, to him, a contest in which he emerged as the victor.
But with Harriet, he did not feel that he had won a victory over her, but shared a moment of desire and passion.
“I think I will be jealous, as I have never been, when I hear of your eventual engagement,” Edward said.
“As will I,” Harriet replied with a small smile. “Thank you for the moment we shared this evening.”
“Thank you for the bloody lip,” Edward replied with a boyish grin.
Harriet threw back her head and laughed gaily. “Yes, I’m sorry about that. I panicked. I hope I conducted myself with more decorum here tonight.”
The light in her eyes as she said that was enough to make him want to throw aside the glass and tear away her nightclothes. Instead, Edward’s free hand tightened on the armchair as though to anchor him in place.
“I should return to my room,” Harriet said after a long silent moment.
“Will I see you at breakfast?” Edward asked.
“I’m sure my mother would be scandalized if I proposed leaving your hospitality without sharing breakfast,” Harriet said.
But it will not be the same woman that I speak to then as I am speaking to now. It will be the formal self that you project for the benefit of others.
It made Edward feel dissatisfied. He found that he wanted to spend more time with Harriet. Alone. It was not just that she was beautiful. She was clearly intelligent and independent. This young lady had put herself into the ruthless social world in order to help her family. That took courage and resolve. He was attracted to her in every way that mattered to him. So, he wanted to be able to discover her likes and dislikes, her passions, and interests. He wanted to know her as fully as he could. But, it seemed unlikely that the opportunity would present itself again.
Better by far to forget about her and lose myself in a transactional marriage to a dull Duchess.
CHAPTER 23
“Ireally must thank you for your generous hospitality,” Lauren said to Edward. “I was quite overcome last night. I do not know what happened. Thankfully, there was a chivalrous knight to come to my rescue.”
