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Fourteen
His words threatened to break her heart. “I don’t need you to coddle me,” she said flatly. “All I want to do is live in the moment.”
He blinked, rubbed his face. “You make it hard for a man to take care of you, Fliss.”
She went to him and curled up in his lap, resting her head on his shoulder. “I have no complaints. I like the way you turn me inside out so I can forget the world exists.”
He sucked in a sharp breath when she unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt and found the warm skin underneath. “Is avoidance healthy?” he asked, the words strangled.
“I don’t really care.” She kissed his throat. “Make love to me, Wynn.”
“Felicity, I—”
She put her hand over his mouth. “Less talk. More action.”
He stared at her. “You’re hurting, Fliss.”
“No, I’m not.” Avoidance was her new mantra. Avoid telling Wynn how she felt. Avoid dealing with her family.
“Baby, it’s written on your face. You can’t pretend your father’s funeral never happened. Or that you didn’t find out about your mother.”
Slowly, she slid from his lap and onto her feet. “Not another word. I’ll have sex with you, Wynn. In fact, I want to...very much. But you’ve made it clear that we are not in a relationship. So I don’t need to hear your thoughts about my screwed-up family. It’s a house of cards built on lies.”
The front of his pants tented. He was aroused. He couldn’t hide that. But still he tried to reach her. “They didn’t set out to hurt you, Fliss. You were collateral damage. And I know they regretted it.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” The truth was no one in her life had loved her enough to be straight with her. Not her parents, who concocted an elaborate lie about her mother’s disappearance. Not Wynn, who was too proud to tell her she had hurt him when she declined his impulsive marriage proposal. She had made her way from childhood to adulthood alone.
Unless she left New York and found a new love to wipe Wynn Oliver from her memory banks, she would always be alone.
She didn’t want that. At all... But how could she possibly tell him the truth? How could she talk about love knowing how he felt about the future?
“I’m sorry,” she said, summoning a smile. “I’m feeling a little fragile. But that has nothing to do with you and me. I’ll deal with it.”
He stood as well and took her hands in his, his grasp warm and firm. “You don’t have to be brave and strong all the time. I’m your friend. From way back. You’re not alone.”
It was almost as if he had read her mind. But the problem was, Wynn had come to a different conclusion. He thought she would be satisfied with the part of him he had to offer. But she wasn’t, she couldn’t be. At the tender age of eighteen, the two of them had connected on a level so deep they had almost been a single person.
Laughing, crying, feeling, loving.
She missed that terribly. She wanted that again. But she wouldn’t let him see how much his kindness hurt. Kindness where there had once been love was a hollow offering.
She didn’t want his pity. To confess her love and not have it returned might be worse than being alone.
“I appreciate your concern,” she said. “But I’m fine. Can we please go to bed now?”
Wynn scooped her into his arms and carried her to his room. They undressed each other without speaking.
Felicity had nothing left to say—or more to the point, nothing that wouldn’t betray what she felt for him. Wynn didn’t want her love.
That hurt more than anything that had transpired in the last month.
She ran her hands over his naked body, trying to memorize the feel of him for the long winter nights ahead. Nights when she would be flying somewhere far away. Nights when he would be in New York with his daughter.
When she curled her fingers around his sex, he shuddered. Closed his eyes. Groaned.
Felicity loved pleasuring him, but she wasn’t special. Any woman could and would take her place.
Doggedly, she shoved those thoughts aside. She released him and climbed into bed. When he joined her, she sighed, feeling the pieces of her world settle into a harmonious whole. Words of love and pleading trembled on her tongue, choking her.
