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“She hasn’t seen you in a while, so she’s not used to you anymore. And maybe it gets worse when you’re stressed out.”
“Why do you say that?”
He grinned. “Because it’s gotten worse.”
“Oh.” I tried to move back.
He laid a hand on my waist to stop me from retreating. “I can handle the cold.”
“I didn’t take my medicine this evening. So that means…”
“I’ll watch over you.” He traced his hand across my cheek. “I won’t let you wake up alone somewhere. I promise.” He kissed me softly then pulled back, giving me space. I wasn’t sure what I was comfortable with anyway.
I played with a button on his shirt to avoid his eyes. “That day you came to my house, I had just woken up in my backyard, covered in dirt.”
“Dirt,” he said. “But not blood.”
“Not blood,” I agreed. “But I was terrified. And then you came along telling me all of these crazy things.”
“That you still don’t really believe.”
“I’m starting to think I’m in a psych ward, trapped in a delusion. How can any of this be real? Do you know what the people in town think of your family and the rest?”
He touched my chin. “What doyouthink?”
I met his gaze then, warmed by the softness. Being around Dorian made me happy and comfortable, made me forget that I had trouble connecting with people. “I don’t think you’re bad people, at least, not you and your family. I mean, they took in a child who had nobody. Why would they do that if they were into something illegal and dangerous?”
“I think maybe they were trying to fix the past, to prove they were better than what came before, that there was hope for us all to be a part of a single community.” He bit on his lower lip as he gathered his thoughts. “At the time, they were new at this. The pack stuff. For generations, Nathan’s family kept as far away from the rest of the werewolves as possible. And the other leader, the mad alpha, he pursued them. He didn’t want competition, but mostly he was obsessed. When they moved here, Nathan met Perdita, and he knew she was his true mate, but the mad alpha sent people here to get rid of AmeliaandPerdita to weaken the family. One of the wolves sent here, Ryan, was only working for that alpha because he’d kidnapped Ryan’s daughters.”
“All girls targeted,” I said indignantly.
“Yeah,” he said. “That’s why losing Alex and Mara is such a big deal. It’s a reminder of those times. Secretly, Ryan helped my—the family, and Byron took over, decided to take care of the rest of the wolves rather than fight them. Both sides had to get over the losses they’d suffered. And then Byron had to actually find all of the werewolves and keep an eye on all of the children with the potential to shift. Nathan’s sister checks on the those children when they reach their teens to prepare them, then helps them through their first shift when it comes time for that. If they shift, they become pack. If not, they get to move on with their lives, but they have to make sure Byron knows about any children they might have—just in case.”
“Is he really responsible forallof them?”
“Sort of? He feels responsible, but he gives people a choice to follow him. Most agree eventually. It’s easier to let somebody else take charge, makes us feel whole to be a part of a pack. It’s hard to explain. We just don’t do well alone, and Byron wanted everyone to have the same advantages. He wants to end the old ways completely.”
“How does he even know what children to look for?”
“Bloodlines, mostly. Rumours sometimes. A lot of luck. I wasn’t the only one living in a shack in the middle of nowhere. The mad alpha put a value on his people. If they weren’t strong, couldn’t produce wolves, they were worthless, and if they were too strong, they were a threat that had to be wiped out. People secreted away their children, just in case. If they shifted at sixteen, not too strong or weak, they were presented to the alpha. Most didn’t and were forgotten about. Some were reunited under Byron, but most of the parents were probably long dead.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Don’t be. I don’t really think about what happened before Nathan came along. The point is that Byron gathered people like me together to end a cycle of violence.”
“But if they didn’t know you were actually a wolf, then why did they take you with them when they found you? They don’t take every child into their home.”
His eyes grew shiny with emotion. He took a moment before clearing his throat. “Some people think dominant means strong or bossy, but I think it means protector. The ones like Nathan are compelled to protect those around them, especially the vulnerable. When the mad alpha was around, he made Nathan and Byron feel as though they couldn’t protect the people they loved. That leaves a hole. I get that now. And I think, deep down, Nathan saw a way to rewrite that history with me. His sister is an omega. Without her, there’s no true peace or balance, and he thought maybe I was the same, but really, he was probably just sensing the wolf in me, saw that I needed to be protected.”
“Is that how you feel about Mara?” I asked. “That you couldn’t protect her?”
“Mara had such a crappy life. She didn’t deserve this. I should never have left her alone.” He sighed heavily. “She would be so mad at me for thinking about protecting her. She wanted to protectme. I wanted to take you out of town to stop another mistake from happening, but now I’ve just left Nathan and Perdita to deal with this alone. What if that’s another mistake?”
His pain was so obvious that I desperately wanted to make him feel better. I just didn’t know how. “Do you think they’ll be angry with you?” I hesitated. “Maybe they’ll be happy you’re safe.”
He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before answering. “I don’t know. Perdita would understand. I think you remind her of her past. She was just a girl who got sucked into this life, like you. Out of everyone, she’d get that I was trying to keep you safe. If anything, she’s the one who’s been softening the punishments for us teens in the pack. She and Byron are close, and he listens to her. He’s not just trying to make us fit into a pack. He’s trying to help us grow into people who could survive alone in the real world. The others don’t see that sometimes. It’s hard for everyone. Bad enough trying to integrate near-feral werewolves into society, but then, to make things even more confusing, once Byron took over, teenagers began shifting for the first time in huge numbers. Nature’s way of rebalancing, we think.”
“Why teenagers though?” I asked curiously, despite myself.
