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“Perdy tells me you’re trying to protect people.” Dr Rivers held my gaze for a moment. “It’s important to take care of your own health, too. Have you thought about what might happen to you?”
“I had to risk a little cold to help save your daughter,” I said pointedly.
“You’re also someone’s daughter, Margo. Your parents are the ones who have to worry about you.”
“I’m almost eighteen.” I pulled the covers tighter around myself. “They have to let me grow up sometime.”
“How do you think your parents will cope if something happens to you?”
They would be devastated. “Why can I do this if I’m not supposed to?”
“I don’t have the answer to those kinds of questions,” he said, his tone still gentle. “As your doctor, I believe that you need to take things slowly so we can truly understand the effect all of this is having on your body. Do me a favour. Start a journal. How you feel on a daily basis, mentally and physically. Take particular note of what happens after you use this ability of yours. Start today, in fact. Can you do that for me?”
“Will you tell my parents to stop me from working with Amelia?”
“Only if I know it’s actively hurting you.” He sighed. “We’re working with the unknown. We need to be careful. We all want what’s best for you, but you can’t help anyone if you’re hurting yourself. Remember that. If anything, put yourself first to help more people in the long run.”
“You’re one of the first people who didn’t outright tell me to stop,” I said, grateful for that.
“I’m old,” he said with a small smile. “Made my mistakes already. You need room to grow, and if you cooperate with me, I’ll make sure you do that as safely as possible. Will you trust me?”
While he didn’t physically resemble Perdita, he had a familiar, comforting presence. “I’ll trust you if you trust me.”
His smile widened. “I’ll take that. I’d like to look into ways to stop your temperature from dropping so sharply. That might take a couple of tests. You up for that, too?”
I reluctantly agreed, and he seemed happier before he left. I felt a little manipulated, but it couldn’t hurt to know more.
My mother sat next to me on the sofa after bidding Dr Rivers goodbye, carefully handing me a cup of hot chocolate. “Mind yourself. It’s piping.”
“Thanks.” I held the cup between my palms, grateful for the warmth. The cold inside my chest was easing, but so slowly that I clung to whatever heat I could get. It was going to take me a long time to get used to that chill inside.
Mam settled a hot water bottle behind my back. “Any better?”
I took a sip. “Lots. Thanks.” I leaned back with a contented sigh. “He’s going to try to find a way to stop my temperature from dropping. Even if he can’t, it’s not so bad. This house is way warmer than our last one. Nice and cosy.”
“Margo,” Mam began in a hesitant tone. “We need to think about this.”
I stared at the television, ill at ease all over again because I sensed what was coming. “Think about what?”
“What you’re doing with those… people.”
I looked at her, unable to hide my smirk. “You mean werewolves.”
She waved a hand as though trying to make the word float away. “Let’s not go there right now. I’m still processing the rest of it.”
“They’re not bad people,” I said. “Dorian’s not—”
“Dorian’s lovely,” she said hurriedly. “I can see he cares about you, and he’s a gentle soul for a… for a…” She cleared her throat. “The people I’ve met have been very nice. That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Is this about those nightmares you used to have? Mam, they were just dreams. Nobody’s going to hurt me.”
“It’s not about dreams or the pack. I’m concerned for you, only you. You’re so pale, so cold. You come home shaking as though you’ve been out in the snow in a bathing suit. No matter what the doctor says, this can’t be good for you, the things they’re making you do.”
“They’re not making me.” I set down my cup, trying to come up with words that would get through to my mother. “Haven’t you ever wanted to know why I do the things I do? What it all means?”
She avoided my enquiring gaze, and I knew her answer. She would rather pretend nothing ever happened.
“I’ve always wanted to know,” I said softly. “I’ve spent so long wondering who the hell I am and if I could ever be normal, that it’s a relief to have some kind of an answer. I’ve felt wrong my whole life until I managed to help save someone, and suddenly I felt right, like I’m not a mistake.”
