Page 71 of Firestarter


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“Not exactly. When it comes to other issues, like this trip, he takes feelings into account. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone. The pack, by nature, follow strength. Their old alpha used cruelty and violence to stay in control. Byron doesn’t, and as long as the pack knows he’s still capable of that kind of strength, they respect his leadership.”

“What would happen if they didn’t?”

“He couldn’t be their alpha if they didn’t respect him. His methods are different, smarter. He will do whatever it takes to avoid violence, but in some instances, that’s impossible. He would never hurt somebody to make them obey, but if, for example, he had let Dominic away with his crimes, the pack would have fallen apart. He has a difficult job, but he has never made me feel like he’s the boss of me. Besides, I know that it’s possible to go against an alpha’s command. We’re all responsible for our own decisions.”

We drank in silence. I had put a lot of thought into understanding the pack, and I had concluded that Perdita was the best person to ask. She had seen so much as a human.

I bit my lip at the thought of asking my next question. “Do you feel like an outsider because you’re not a werewolf?”

She laughed. “Only always. I like the pack most of the time, but they can be a lot to handle. You get used to dealing with a lot of different opinions, some of them insultingly old-fashioned. Why? Are you feeling left out?”

I fidgeted with a chocolate biscuit. “They know each other so well, and they have their own language. They get each other immediately. Sometimes I wonder if Dorian would be better off with someone—”

“Dorian likes you for you. He’s not the kind of person who can hide their feelings well. The right person for Dorian is the one who makes him happy. Sometimes our differences are what draw us together. I’ve had times when I felt I was making Nathan miss out because I’m human, but relationships are based on something deeper than that.” She reached out to touch my shoulder. “You’ll get used to the teens. Give them a chance, and you’ll start to understand their language, too. Trust me.”

“Will they even stick around?” I asked. “Dorian’s always made it sound like people move on from here in the end.”

“The teens? This is their home for as long as they want. For others, it’s a temporary sanctuary. Most of the people here suffered terribly in the past. Coming here is kind of like rehabilitation. Byron helps them feel whole again. Some need him for a long time. Others can never live so close to normal society and end up living a more secluded life with Byron’s son. That’s why it’s hard for them to trust you and Amelia. They’ve lived in fear for so long that they’re constantly defending themselves from threats, real or imaginary.”

A sharp knife twisted in my chest. Again, I felt so lucky for my upbringing and apprehensive at the thought of what I might have escaped from. “I feel a bit sorry for them.”

“There’s no need to feel bad. This is the best place for them, but it’ll be different for the next generation. They’ll have more opportunities. That’s why there’s so much focus on this little one.” She rubbed her stomach fondly. “A new generation, but nobody even knows for sure if this one will even be a werewolf.”

“What do you want the baby to be?”

“Happy and healthy,” she said with a grin. “Nothing else matters.”

“You’re so chill about it all.”

She shrugged. “I’ve had years to process it. I was extremely freaked out once upon a time. Things were different then, but still, it’s a lot for anyone to deal with. So don’t go too hard on your parents when they don’t understand as quickly as you want them to. They’re going through a lot as well, especially your mother.”

“She’s finding it hardest to deal with. I wish she’d trust me.”

“She trusts you. It’s the rest of us she hasn’t figured out yet. She’s someone who will always want the best for you, though, so remember that when things get tough.”

I knew all of that, but it was hard to remember when Mam came to collect me after work, her eyes darting around nervously as she avoided conversations with Perdita whilst practically dragging me out the door.

“They won’t bite,” I said after she increased her pace upon seeing Victor who was, predictably, lurking again.

“I know. I’m not…” She sighed then made sure I got into the car before getting into the driver’s seat. “I can’t help remembering whenever I see any of them.”

“Remembering?”

She started the car, pulling out of the driveway before speaking again. “Remembering that they tore that man apart. Exactly like my nightmares of what might happen to you. Your father might sugar-coat it, but they murdered a man, and they covered up his murders. It makes me feel sick to think of them being so close to you.”

“Mam.” I was starting to think I would never get through to her. We couldn’t judge the pack by human standards and sleep at night.

She glanced at me. “I’m not sure you being there is a good idea. Especially now Byron Evans is gone.”

“Nathan is there,” I said. “Besides, they didn’t tear a man apart. He was a monster.” Nothing would ever convince me otherwise. Dominic had been a cowardly murderer, and he had gotten what he deserved.

“If they did that to one of their own, what could they do to you?”

“I doubt they enjoyed it. They had no choice. They couldn’t let the police deal with him. Things would have gotten even messier. What else were they supposed to do? Let him walk free? They’re werewolves. They deal with things by using werewolf methods. They don’t do that outside of the pack, and that was an extreme situation.”

“Extreme,” she muttered under her breath.

“Seriously,” I said. “Perdita told me how bad things used to be for the pack until Byron took over. He doesn’t use violence to solve problems. All he does is make sure they know he can if he wants to, and then he doesn’t have to do anything.”

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