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I wasn’t sure. Did I want to speak to them? Question them? Avoid them? I had no idea. “We need them for information,” I said aloud. “That’s all. What about you? Where are your parents? Do you know?”
“Not too sure.” He scribbled in his book. “I think my father lives with the alpha’s son in Europe. I don’t think my mother lived for long after I was born. Things were different back then. Families stay together more now.”
“That sucks.”
He shrugged. “Not really. My family is here. I don’t care about the other stuff.”
“You know what? Sometimes you and Dorian are more alike than you think. You both see the pack here as your family.”
“We’re not alike.” He didn’t sound mad about it, but maybe a little sad. “He can keep his wolf separate. He controls everything he’s feeling. I can’t.”
“Is it tough for you?”
“All of the time,” he admitted. “Wolf always wants out. Always wants… what I’m not supposed to do. I get tired of trying. Sometimes it feels like there’s no point.”
“Does it hurt?” I asked. “You know, when you shift. I saw Dorian shift, but you make it sound like everything’s different for you.”
“It only hurts when I shift back.” He stared at his book, stared through it, more like. “Wolf fights me, wants to stay. Easier to be that way.” He pulled at the collar around his neck. “This skin feels like a prison.”
“What would happen if someone didn’t ever shift back?”
He shrugged. “Probably end up stuck that way. Might not be so bad.”
“So what’s it like when you shift into a wolf then?”
His expression brightened again. He looked out at the window and smiled. “Feels like freedom.”
Perdita came home then, bringing lots of food to force-feed us with. She fussed over us as though she desperately missed Dorian. She wasn’t the only one missing him. Victor was so completely lost that I was starting to feel protective over him. He struggled with his inner self in a way that Dorian couldn’t understand. I wished I could help him. I thought of the incident with Pavel. I couldn’t even help myself without scaring people off.
