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“I’ll talk to them. I’ll make them understand,” I said. “But we need to at least consider the idea because we have no others.”
Dorian fled from the room. I didn’t try to stop him. Of everyone, I thought he’d understand, but it was looking like he was the one person I had to convince.
It wasn’tlong before Dorian returned in human form, accompanied by my parents and Amelia.
“What’s going on?” Mam asked, glancing at Dorian’s grim expression.
“I had an idea,” I said. “The werewolves heal quickly. Dorian got hit hard by Eli, and he’s fine already after shifting. I’m not healing because I’m too human.”
“Oh, no,” Dad murmured.
Mam looked around. “What? What’s happening?”
“I would have a better chance of surviving if I wasn’t me,” I explained. “If I could shift.”
“Wait a second,” Amelia said. “Are you talking about being turned into a werewolf? We can’t. Can we?” She glanced at Byron. “I mean, I suppose we have the means to try, but should we?”
“We could kill her,” Dorian said glumly. “What if Vira feels like Margo is dying because some part of Margo already decided to try this?”
I turned to Vira. “Can you be that specific? If I make a decision that changes my future, can you tell?”
Vira recoiled. “I don’t know. This isn’t normal for me. For us. I still don’t understand how you could be both.”
“Amelia is a witch and a wolf,” I said. “She’s different things at once.”
“That’s not necessarily a good thing,” Amelia said, though a hint of excitement rang out in her words.
“Margo, you can’t be serious,” Mam said. “Think about this. Even if it worked, which everyone seems to doubt, you would live as… you would turn into… I mean, have you thought about the future?”
“Have you forgotten that I don’t have a future?” I demanded. “Wake up. I’m already dying. I’m willing to take a chance if it means I can live longer and stop Eli. That’s the goal here, right? Nobody can help us. Survival is my only way out.” I looked at Dorian. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
He sat next to me and took my hand. “Have you thought about it though? What will happen next? Being born a wolf is one thing, becoming one is quite another. What if you hate it? We can’t undo it. What if it doesn’t work? You’ll die painfully. What if it does work, but something about being a harbinger makes it wrong? You might never be you again. Have you put enough thought into this? Do you really want this?”
“I’ve spent a lot of time around the pack,” I said. “I’ve watched, and I’ve learned, and I’ve seen how this all works. I’m okay with being a part of that. I’m okay with being like you. I mean, I’m already in pain. I’m already struggling. If this gives me a boost in some way, makes me capable of living like this? I’m all for that. Do I have doubts? Am I scared? Also, yes, but this is my life. My opinion is the only one that matters.”
“Are you going to let her do this?” Dorian asked, looking around the room. “Am I supposed to watch us kill her?” He turned back to me. “How can I stay with the pack knowing we killed you?”
“Knowing you tried to save me,” I corrected.
He couldn’t look at me then.
“Dorian,” I said softly. “I know this sounds crazy, but our lives are currently insane, and my time is running out. I don’t want to sit around and waste away. I want to at least try to do something, to fight this. I love the community you have, how people here want to help each other. I know I don’t belong, have never belonged anywhere, but I’ve felt more welcome here than anywhere else ever. I don’t want it to end so soon. I don’t want Eli to hurt any of you. I know you’re scared, but you have to face facts. If we do nothing, I’m going to die anyway.”
“What if that’s not true?” he said. “And even if we manage to work it out, it’s not like you turn into a wolf for a second, heal up, and everything goes back to normal. There are consequences, changes. You might not be able to be around people for a while. You might want to hurt me and your parents. You might hate how it makes you feel.”
“She has all of us to support her,” Amelia said. “It’s easier for anyone that way. It might work.”
“If it was Perdita, would you do it?” I asked.
“If she was dying, I wouldn’t think twice,” she replied. “Deep down, you know that if Margo was bleeding out right now, and we thought we could save her, you would let us. Just because you can’t see what’s happening to her doesn’t mean she’s not in danger. We can all sense death hovering around her.”
“That’s because she’s a harbinger! What if we do this, and it’s all for nothing?”
“We need to speak with Margo alone,” Dad said. He had been quiet for a long time.
“That’s no problem,” Byron said, gesturing for everyone else to leave me alone. Dorian shot me one last anguished look before leaving.
“I’ll talk to him,” Amelia said.
