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Tommy grumbles his agreement.
I back down the hall with light steps, intending to duck into my room, but Jax appears in the doorway sooner than I expect. His eyes land on me, widening as his steps slow.
“Did we wake you?” he asks carefully, assessing what I know or don’t know.
“Yes, but it’s okay.” I back tentatively toward my bedroom door without a single excuse for eavesdropping in my arsenal. The bathroom and the stairs are at my back. It’s obvious I was loitering outside my parents’ bedroom rather than heading in the opposite direction. Even so, I said, “I heard my name, so…”
Jax nods and ignores my prompt. “We’ll have the drywall repaired and repainted before your parents return home.”
I nod, mute, as he takes another long-legged step toward me.
I can’t not address what I heard. I just can’t. “I’m sorry I hurt you back then.”
He opens his mouth. Closes it. Presses his lips together. Then shakes his head and starts to walk past me.
Oh, I don’t think so. I lock a hand around his biceps and tug. It’s very obvious by the flex of those powerful muscles under my palm that he stops of his own accord.
“I was hurting, too.” I need to explain that part. “I didn’t want us to end, either, but—”
“Mini. None of this matters now.”
“It matters.”
“It doesn’t.” His mouth hitches into an easy half smile that feels a lot like a smoke screen. He slides a lock of hair away from my cheek and cups my jaw. “Be in the moment with me. All right?”
But the moment might not be enough,I think, alarmed by the thought.
We could’ve had more, but we were young and naïve and didn’t have a solid plan for our lives. We’re different now. We’re different together, too. For the first time in my life I want more. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, so to feel that for Jax is…well, it’s freaking me out. But that doesn’t mean it’s not real. The dream I chased to California—the dream that I thought would be everything I ever wanted—is no longer enough for me. That glamorous life is pointless without someone to share it with.
Without Jax to share it with.
That’s terrifying for many reasons. I let go of his arm and give him a shaky nod. “In the moment. Right.”
“Tonight?” That smirk covers my lips for a brief kiss.
I nod.
“I’ll call you later. I have another job today, so it’ll be late.”
“I’ll check on Tommy.” I don’t know what else to say. About any of it.
“He’d like that.” Jax turns and jogs downstairs. I watch him go, torn over my feelings for him back then and the ones filling my head and my heart now. I’m also torn over his feelings, which are as opaque as they come.
—
My agent is chattering in my ear, her excitable voice on par.
“It’s perfect because the executive I spoke with is saying this show could be the next America’s Sweetheart. And they want you, Nina!”
My heart rate increases as I allow myself to imagine a home on another show. It’s what I always wanted—one place to call home, hunker down, and work hard. When they announced the cancellation of AS, we knew it was time, but the idea of starting over was daunting. A new character, a new cast, a new crew…
“That’s exciting,” I force myself to say.
“Then why don’t you sound excited?” Mer asks.
“I am. I’m just…cautious.” And weighed down by heavy emotional baggage since I discovered I might be in love with my ex-boyfriend who has zero interest in living on the other side of the country. We didn’t make it once because of distance and it’s hard to believe this time would be different.
“When’s the last time you talked to the cast of AS? Shannon? Lauren? Kate?”
