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He’d never seen this coming. That explained the tightening of his gut. The feeling that something was lurking just outside of his peripheral vision. He’d been wrong about her thinking of him as a boyfriend. She’d been thinking of him as a husband.
“You seem surprised,” she said because he still hadn’t thought of how to say no.
And he had to say no.
She’d gotten the wrong impression and that was his fault. He’d assumed they were operating with the same game plan, not that she’d gone rogue and created one of her own. The night he’d spent at her house flashed in his mind. Before she’d fallen asleep, she’d kissed him on the side of the mouth, her arm wrapped around his waist, and murmured “goodnight” followed by...
You’re everything.
Which could mean literally anything...except not now. Not with a proposal engraved into the back of his watch. Now it could only mean one thing. He was everything to Addison, and while she was a lot of things to him, he simply couldn’t be everything to anyone.
Trying to be everything had nearly cost him his relationship with his brother. Had left him with one hell of an identity crisis. Had taught him to take life a day at a time without scheduling every one of them in advance.
He’d taken a chance on Addi. He’d been so sure she was on his side. Not on the side of...
God.
Marriage?
He set the watch aside and grasped her hands to help her stand. He couldn’t shoot her down while she was on her knees. He could barely do it now that she was standing, both her hands in his and raw hope in her expression. There wasn’t any way avoiding it, so he’d have to say it. Say the truest, fairest words he could think of and then offer her an escape hatch.
“You weren’t supposed to fall in love with me.”
Confusion crinkled her forehead before a new emotion sent her expression careening in another direction. Fear. Sadness. Maybe a combo of the two.
“I’m so sorry, Addi. I thought we were cool with the way things were. Right now I’m not looking for—”
“Oh, no.” She pulled her hands from his and rested them over her stomach.
“Listen, listen, it’s okay.” He rubbed his palms on her upper arms. “Here, sit in my chair.”
“I can’t sit. I have to leave.”
“You don’t have to leave, Ad.” He wasn’t sure how to fix this. But he had to. He needed her—here at work. And he liked her a whole hell of a lot after work, too. There was no reason to blow up everything they had just because she’d jumped the gun. “We can still go to P&P for dinner. Nothing has to change. This was a misstep, that’s all.” He pointed to the watch. “I’m sure they can remove the engraving.”
“A misstep,” she repeated, not sounding convinced.
“One I’m familiar with. I know how you feel—”
“You have no idea how I feel. Did you hear anything I said to you?”
“I heard every word.” She loved him. It was a gift. But the other thing... The proposal... “But, Addi, I can’t marry anyone right now.”
“Say what you mean, Bran. You can’t marry me.”
He didn’t know if he’d never marry Addison, but well, hell, he didn’t want to plan that far out.
“I’ve been off course for most of the year,” he said, attempting to explain. “Normally, I don’t get wrapped up in the thrill of the chase. I don’t want to win to say I won. And yet, CEO came up for grabs and that’s exactly what I did. Before our trip to Tahoe, I swore to myself I wasn’t going to do that again. Not ever. I’ve been free-falling with you, Addi. It wasn’t about landing you and letting you go. I was the one who asked to extend the trip, remember?”
As her eyes flooded with tears, he realized that this wasn’t mostly his fault. This was one hundred percent his fault. “And then I asked you to continue once we were home.” And then he’d invited her to stay the night again and again. “I didn’t mean for you to take this as me wanting more. I’m sorry.”
His apology lit her temper on fire. Anger reddened her face. “You never wanted more than sex.”
“No!” Hell, that wasn’t what he meant. Not really. “Well, sort of. It sounds bad when you say it.”
“I’ve been in love with you since I started working here,” she snapped, a fat tear perched on the edges of her eyelashes. “I was in the process of trying to fall out of love with you. But you wouldn’t let me compartmentalize after one night in Tahoe. You were the one who wanted more, Bran,” she added quietly. “You might not have made promises with your words, but your body painted a future with me in it. And now you’re telling me I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you? What is it you thought we were doing?”
“I thought I’d finally found someone who understood me.” His voice raised an octave. “I wasn’t promising you anything. I was living my life one day at a time, which, by the way, is the lesson you should have learned from Joe.”
