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Twenty-Two
After a week of ignoring Bran’s repeated attempts to woo her back to work, Addi decided to give her friend Carey a call. One, for emotional support, and two, was Carey’s company hiring? Over a lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Palo Alto, Addi learned that no, they weren’t hiring. At least she could count on her friend to be there for her emotionally. Carey might well be the only person left.
“I know you’re proud, but if you need money...” Carey was saying.
“No, no! That’s not why I invited you out. I’m not flat broke.” Not yet. Even though the car purchase had put a healthy dent in her savings account.
“I can’t believe you quit. You love ThomKnox.” Carey’s eyes widened. “Oh, no. It’s your boss. Who you were sleeping with. He screwed it up, didn’t he?”
Addi nodded, swallowing past a lump in her throat. “He did. That’s the other reason I wanted to talk to you. You’re my person.”
Carey’s hand landed on hers. “Of course I am! Lay it on me.”
All Addi had to do was make it through the story with as few tears as possible. Easy peasy. “The reason I’m not working at ThomKnox any longer is because I quit. And the reason I quit is because I proposed to Brannon Knox.” She felt the tears well in her eyes despite her trying to dam them. “He said no.”
“Oh, honey.”
Addi shared about the watch and the proposal given from her knees. Then she shared that Bran had helped her stand and told her what amounted to let’s forget this ever happened.
“I don’t know if I’m more humiliated that I proposed, or more humiliated that I love him and he feels nothing for me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do, actually. He’s been texting and sending flowers and P&P takeout.”
“That’s sweet.” Carey cooed, but promptly covered her lips with one hand when Addi shook her head.
“He wants his assistant back. Although I’m sure he would appreciate more sex in the conference room.” Addi ate a chip. She was so miserable her taste buds were on strike. It tasted like salted cardboard. “I was caught up,” she admitted.
“Babe. Of course you were caught up! You were in a relationship.”
“Not according to him.” According to Bran, they were in a live-in-the-moment sex-a-thon. “Sex changed nothing for him and everything for me. I thought we were building a life.”
“You acted from the heart. That’s never wrong. It’s not your fault he’s emotionally crippled.” Carey paused to order another margarita for each of them. “Never hold back. Follow your heart. Joe didn’t follow his heart, and don’t you wish he would’ve? If you would’ve told him you didn’t want to date him, he would’ve known how you felt about him.”
“Funny, Bran brought up Joe, too. He said if Joe would have confessed how much he loved me, I would have had to turn him down the same way Bran turned me down.”
“And Joe would have accepted it because he loved you.” Carey’s mouth twisted to the side. “What a catch twenty-two.”
Carey was right. She didn’t know Joe, but Addi had told her a lot about him. Addi could easily picture the scene Carey painted. Him telling Addi how much he loved her, and her letting him down gently. He would’ve joked and said he never expected a yes anyway. He would’ve let her off the hook.
The same way Bran was trying to let her off the hook now.
The reality hit her with such a suddenness, she felt dizzy.
“Bran doesn’t love me,” she said as a fresh margarita was set in front of her. “And I’m punishing him because he didn’t say yes. That’s as unfair as if Joe would’ve hated me for not loving him back. And he wouldn’t have. He didn’t. He probably kept his feelings to himself to spare mine.” Oh, Joe.
It’s okay, sweetheart,Joe said in her head.
“Is it better to know or not know?” Addi asked Carey.
“To know.”
Carey was right. Addi was better off knowing that Bran didn’t want to marry her. She could’ve gone another year aching for him and waiting for him to ask her.
“You know what? I’m going back to work. I can’t leave the work I love because he didn’t want to marry me. That’d be as bad as him firing me if I didn’t sleep with him. Being independent doesn’t have to mean burning down every bridge from your past.”
Even if it did seem to mean being alone.
