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I was a big fat scaredy-cat. And I left him high and dry in the process. “I should have either started right away or refused. I left you hanging.”
His eyebrows bend but I can’t figure out why. Is he sad I didn’t take it? Or have I left him hanging in another sense?
A few guests walk in and he shakes their hands. He introduces me quickly, mentioning that I work at an inspection bureau in Ohio. He tells them I “did some work for us” on one of his properties. Then he corrals me to a quieter corner of the room. He’s careful not to touch me, pointing the way for me to walk ahead of him.
“I guess this was a bad idea.” I laugh, uncomfortable. Coming here was an epically horrible idea. I’m not sure what I’m doing here. Walt called me out on being in love with Nate, and he was right, but what am I supposed to do about it? What would be the point? Why would Nate believe anything I had to say after I told him I could never love him?
“Whatever you need to say to make this trip worth it for you,” he prompts again, sounding impatient, “why don’t you go ahead and say it.” He gives me an encouraging nod, granting me an opportunity to speak freely.
I can save a hell of a lot of face, and my pride, by telling him I came by to wish him the best for his future before I head back to Ohio.
Or. I can tell him how I feel. I can be honest with him.
I can be honest with myself.
Wouldn’t that be a revelation?
I peer up at his beautifully imperfect face. A face I’ve been trying to come to terms with never seeing again. A face I never could have dreamed of missing someday. He was a billionaire with a sledgehammer in an Armani suit trying to pave a path to the bank. I was a former criminal’s daughter, hiding out where I didn’t belong.
It never would have worked.
So why am I still here?
“Viv?” His blue eyes lock onto mine. There’s a hidden emotion behind them I pray is what I think it is.
Go big or go home, isn’t that what they say?
Once upon a time I was brave enough to take huge leaps.
Am I still?
