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Twenty-Three
Gavin tried to read Hallie’s mind as he approached but came up empty. She could be preparing another lecture. He worried it might be a loud one ending with her telling him to go home, but maybe—just maybe—she’d invite him in.
If he made it inside, would she let him down again, this time wishing him a lovely Christmas by himself, or would she hear him out, and reconsider her decision to leave?
There was only one way to find out.
“Hey,” he said, which was not the best opener. He hadn’t exactly crafted a plan. He’d driven here like a bat out of hell, straight from his parents’ house, when he should’ve taken a long, slow drive on a dark country road while he thought about the best way to approach her. Instead, here he was, with a half-baked plan that involved nothing less than wearing his still-beating heart on his sleeve.
He prayed that was enough.
She looked beautiful—and more vulnerable than he’d ever seen her. She wore jeans and a soft pink sweater, cowboy boots and, like him, a leather jacket.
“I like your coat.” He offered a nervous smile. “Does this mean I’ve made a rule-breaker out of you after all?”
“You have no idea,” she replied with a cautious smile. Cautious or no, he’d take it.
“May I carry that for you?” He reached for the tote resting on her shoulder.
She handed it over, giving him an excuse to follow her inside. Not quite an invitation, but again, he’d take it.
In the kitchen, she made short work of unpacking the groceries. She left out a bag of chips.
“I’d ask you to stay for dinner, but I assume you already ate.” She lifted the chips. “This is my dinner. Far from gourmet.”
“I didn’t come here for dinner,” he confessed. Hannah was right. Presley was right. Cassandra was right. He’d had his head in his ass. It was easier to see all the things he loved about Hallie when she was standing in front of him. It was also impossible to accept her friendship alone when he knew they were capable of so much more.
“I screwed up the other night,” he said, pulling his hat off his head and resting it on the kitchen table. Here went nothing. “I let you believe you were a pastime instead of telling you what you mean to me. To be fair, I thought it was heartburn and not heartbreak.” He put his hand on his chest and her eyes followed the movement. His heart thumped hard against his palm, kicking his rib cage when it should have been kicking his ass. How could he have been so clueless?
“Speeding on a back road, skinny-dipping in the ice-cold lake, PDA on the boardwalk. Those things, I did for you. But not only for you. I benefited, too—probably more than you did. Definitely more than you did,” he corrected, clearing his throat. This wasn’t easy, but he wasn’t giving up. Not this time. “You might not know this, Hals, but while I was helping you break your rules, you were busting my heart out of the prison cell I was keeping it in. I have never allowed myself to feel deeply for a woman before. I was convinced loving someone meant missing out on life. You taught me being in love made life better. How could I possibly miss out on life when you’re the one who makes my life worth living?”
She continued staring at him, her expression giving away nothing. He took a deep breath and willed himself to keep going.
“You made me a better person in the weeks we spent together. You made me fall in love with you, too. And trust me, Hals, I have no clue what I’m doing when it comes to being in love. I’m the biggest risk you could take. I love you. I love you, and if you still want to dump me, you better have a damn good reason. Because I’m not giving up on us anytime soon. You might’ve sent me for a spin a few days ago, but I’ve recalibrated. I know what I want. You.”
Her eyebrows bent in sympathy.
“I’m about to break the biggest rule in my world and beg you for forever.” His hands shook, but not because he was scared or nervous. They shook because he knew she was his future. He was willing to fight for her. He was willing to beg—on his knees.
He lowered onto her floor and took one of her hands in his. “Will you take me back? Will you come back to my bed, back to my house, back into my life? I vow to be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. And eventually, if you want, more than that. One day I’ll be down here with a diamond ring in my hand, and you’ll say yes because you’re so in love with me there’ll be no other answer. You won’t be able to believe the man I’ve become—the man your love changed me into.”
She was frozen, staring down at him, her mouth open softly. He was starting to sweat. He wasn’t sure what her reaction would be, but he thought he’d at least see a smile. He’d hoped she’d sling her arms around his neck and kiss him senseless.
Instead she put her hand to her forehead like she was checking for a fever. “Remember what you said about having a family? About having children?”
“Uh...” Well, damn, that threw him. He kept hold of her hand, his other hand on the kitchen counter as he stood. Her eyes tracked his movements, her chin tilting up. He didn’t dare let her go. Now that he was touching her, he didn’t want to stop.
“The night you asked if twins ran in my family, and I asked you if you wanted a big family,” she reminded him.
“Right. Yeah.” He remembered. He’d said something about being a bachelor, about how settling down wasn’t for him. “Not my finest moment.”
“What changed?”
He didn’t have to think about his answer. “You. You changed everything. You changed me. It might have taken me a minute to absorb what was all around me, but Hallie. Honey.” He smiled down at her. “I’d settle down with you. It wouldn’t even be settling. I’d have a family with you, no question. You and I would make beautiful babies.”
Her eyelashes fluttered. He’d surprised her, which seemed only fair since he’d surprised himself. He imagined their future child and a grin took over his face. A baby girl with her golden eyes, or a baby boy with his wavy hair...maybe one of each. Yeah. Hell, yeah.
She cocked her head to the side, her gentle vulnerability shining through. “Do you mean it?”
