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CHAPTERFIVE
“You were born into a billionaire family. That’s lucky too,” Nate counters.
“You were?” -Me, finding out Walt used to be a billionaire (Once Upon a Billionaire)
Dee
Walt pulls into a driveway in front of a simple one-story brick ranch home. Compared to the mansion-like structure we just left, it’s a modest home, and a step up from his Chicago apartment.
“Do you rent?”
“Own.” Pride laces his voice. He should be proud. It’s not easy for addicts to secure a loan, given our spotty work records. “Where do you hang your hat these days?”
He picks up the Santa hat from his lap and tosses it into mine. I play with the white fuzzy ball on the end while I answer. “I still live with Shannon. I’ve been working temp jobs for the time being. She won’t let me pay her any rent, and I have to sneak to stock the cabinets with food. She wants me to save money for when I move out.”
He nods carefully. I can read on his handsome face, and feel from his intent gaze, that he wants to know why I’m here. Why I’m dressed like this. I won’t make him wait much longer.
“I have money saved. Enough that if I needed to relocate, I could.” I nearly add that I’d be willing to relocate closer to him, but courage fails me. I shrug. The Santa suit is heavy, and I’m ready to take it off. It’s itchy and sort of hot. I don’t know how mall Santas do it.
“That’s good.”
Walt is as lean and long-limbed as he ever was, but he’s filled out some. I can’t help reaching out to test his upper arms. A Cheshire smile crawls over his mouth as he flexes his biceps. I can feel the hard muscle through his coat sleeve, and wonder if the rest of him is as fit.
I don’t hide how captivated I am. “Wow. You’ve been working out at the company gym, I take it?”
“CrossFit. It’s killer. But it makes me too tired to be an asshole, so that’s a plus.”
“I know what you mean. I took up spinning, but only because my sister has a stationary bike at home. I didn’t want to waste a dime going to the YMCA in case I needed money for…my plans.”
He nods again and looks out the windshield at his house as if debating asking me in. I understand why. If we’re inside, alone in his house, we will kiss again. If he kisses me again, I will take that kiss as far as he’ll let me. I’ve missed him so much.
“Why are you here, Dee?”
So he wants to know before we go inside. Probably for the reason I just thought about. Here, in the car, we are safe. We won’t have car sex. Or, most likely we won’t. And if he doesn’t like the reason I’m here, he can drive me to the airport and never look back. Fear prickles the back of my neck at the possibility.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to see you.” He fiddles with the heat controls on the dashboard. “But it’s strange for you to show up unannounced. You have my number.”
“Yes. I do.” We hadn’t talked in so long, I had no idea how he’d react. “I contacted Vivian instead of you. I didn’t want to pressure you in case you were with someone. Or, you know, married.”
“Married?” His eyebrows rise with the corners of his lips.
That grin turns every womanly part of me hot and needy. Not for the first time, I regret to my bone marrow walking away from this man. I wasn’t ready for commitment at the time. I was scared I’d continue backsliding and ruin his life and mine. I loved him too much to do that to him.
He’s still grinning when he asks, “Who would I marry?”
His dark gaze seems to add, Other than you?
“You never know. It’s been a while since we talked. Vivian told me you weren’t married. I’m assuming you’re not hiding a girlfriend in there.” I nod to the house.
“No girlfriend,” he answers, then holds my hand. “Are you going to answer me?”
“I’m here because…” I study the lights on the dashboard, my mind a jumble of words my sister and brother-in-law said to me before I left. I was heading out the door, my ID and keys in hand, when Shannon hugged me hard and warned, “Be careful, Deirdre. I don’t want him to hurt you.” I explained to her that Walt didn’t hurt me. I hurt him. I was the one who walked out last Christmas. I didn’t admit that he could still hurt me. He could reject me. He’d have every right.
I squeeze Walt’s hand in mine. “I’m here because I’m ready for forever, and the only person I want to spend forever with is you.”
