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‘What do you mean?’
‘Why he choseyouspecifically to come in and help, the charity, the organisation... Me?’
‘Does it matter?’
My shrug is subtle. ‘I don’t know if it matters. I just know it bothers me that I didn’t know.’
‘It’s hardly something you just come out and mention, and like I said—’
‘You were going to and I stopped you, I know. But Alan could have said something.’
‘I think he was worried it would be something of a trigger for you and have you flipping out from the off.’
My brows arc. ‘More than I already did?’
He rests his hand on the roof between us and studies me quietly, his blue eyes so vivid and intense as they pin me in place.
‘I think he thought that with my background I would understand you better, including the backlash I’m sure he anticipated.’
‘I see.’ I swallow to push down the adrenaline rush his eyes have sparked. ‘And does he really expect you to tame me so completely?’
His smile is slow and sexy as fuck, the rush shooting way past my control as my breasts prickle against the lace of my bra.
‘I’m not sure anyone could tame you, Olivia, not completely at any rate.’
‘Try at all.’ My smile is ripe with challenge. ‘Shall I let you in on a little secret?’
‘I’m all ears.’
‘I’ve lived my entire life confined by another. Before Nathan, it was my father, wanting to put me in a certain box and keep me there. And I’m not going back to those days. I’m living for me now and nothing and no one will change that.’
‘You think that’s a secret? I’ve already pieced that much together—not your father, but Nathan. It’s obvious his mark is everywhere—in your house, in the office, in the way you act...and you told me it yourself, but what I don’t get is why.’
‘Why what?’
‘Why did you let him take over?’
‘I didn’t, not intentionally at any rate.’
‘But you did.’
I drag in a breath, think back to Fee’s words over the years, so very much the same. ‘I loved him.’
‘Yes, but loving someone doesn’t give them the right to control you.’
No, it doesn’t. But how can I explain it to him when I can barely explain it to myself?
‘Nathan was...he was an exceptional man. He pulled himself off the streets, studied hard, worked harder. He made something of himself from nothing and he spent his adult life helping others avoid what he went through.’
‘I read about his past...’ His eyes soften a little with understanding. ‘I read about his time on the streets.’
‘Then you’ll understand why he lived a very safe existence; everything had to be just so. He was careful, measured about everything...’ The wordboringalmost erupts and the way Valentine’s eyes spark, I know he thinks the same and is comparing it to my own description of him the night of the dinner.
But I can’t label Nathan in such a way; it feels disloyal, a disservice, especially when I think of his days on the streets and the reasons behind the way he was.
‘He was an inspiration,’ I say instead, my smile bittersweet as I think back to the early days in our relationship. ‘The night I met him, he was talking at a gala dinner put on by my college and the way he spoke, of his journey and what he wanted for the future and the charity he represented...he had the whole room enthralled. We smashed our fundraising target that night and when I caught up with him to tell him how much I enjoyed his talk and expressed my interest in getting involved with the charity, told him ideas that I had, he listened to me. It didn’t matter that I was young and still finding my feet in terms of what I wanted for a career.’
‘Of course he would. Who wouldn’t? You’re clever, you’re beautiful,you’reinspiring, Olivia.’
