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“Holy shit!” Noelle pipes up. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I never thought I’d see him again. He lived on the other side of the country, you know? But he was alluring and persistent, so I gave in, which is something I wouldn’t normally do, especially because—”
“—he’s an athlete,” Charlotte finishes for me, and I simply nod. “I remember your rule from college: no athletes. But you know, I always thought it was strange.”
“Well, I’m about to let you know why that’s my rule. We’re getting there.”
Noelle rubs my shoulder. “Hey, we’re not going anywhere, okay? Just relax, breathe, and tell us how you ended up with these as a souvenir.” She reaches for the handcuffs and dangles them in front of my face, giggling.
I snatch them back and put them in my purse again. “It’s not funny.”
“Oh, but it is. Come on, Pen. You have to admit this is a little funny. If it happened to one of us, you’d be on the floor, dying of laughter.”
“One day, I’m sure I’ll be able to laugh about this. But right now...” I drop my eyes to my lap. “There’s a lot you don’t know, Noelle.”
She catches the change in my demeanor quickly. “Okay. I’m sorry. Please continue.”
Sighing, I lift my head again and drain the rest of my mimosa, sliding the glass toward Charlotte for a refill. “The last man I was in a relationship with was a football player.”
Both of their foreheads crease, and Charlotte fills my glass while Noelle asks, “When was this?”
“In high school, before I ever met you girls.”
Their faces smooth at the same time. Noelle breathes, “Your young love.”
I nod. “His name was Jacob. We were high school sweethearts, and he had a full scholarship to play football for Ohio State. We were supposed to go to college together. He was determined to get drafted to the NFL, and he was the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with.”
They grow quiet, and I look to Amelia for help.
“It’s okay, Pen. It’s time to let this out.”
Charlotte looks over at her and then back at me. “What happened, Penelope?”
“Three weeks after we graduated from high school, he died.”
Noelle and Charlotte both gasp. “Oh my God, honey. I’m so sorry.”
I look up at the three of them, and they’re all blurry. I hadn’t even realized it, but tears are streaming down my face at this point. Noelle hands me a napkin, and I start dabbing my eyes and then blowing my nose.
This is why I didn’t want to tell them. I hate looking weak. I hate letting my emotions overwhelm me. But there’s no turning back now. And even though I’ve been fighting this, it feels good to know these girls are here for me.
I can’t believe I ever expected anything else but that reaction from them.
Noelle speaks up once I’ve collected myself. “How did he die? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“He—he drowned. And it was my fault.”
“Oh, Penelope.” Charlotte stands from her chair and moves over to hug me. “First of all, I’m sure it wasn’t your fault. And second, why on earth didn’t you tell us this? You’ve never said one word in the twelve years that we’ve known you. And we tell each othereverything...”
“Let me try to explain.” I fiddle with my fingers to buy myself some time before I continue. “When I moved out here to go to school, I wanted a fresh start. I didn’t want to think of him, be reminded of him. The life I had planned with him was not going to happen anymore, so I just... shut it away. You girls were the only thing that kept me from going down a really dark hole and never coming out. You gave me a family out here. You gave me hope that my future would still be bright because I’d always have the three of you.”
I smile at them. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t tell anyone. I shoved it down and left it there. You girls saved me from the darkest time of my life, and I didn’t ever want to go back to that darkness. And even more than that, I was determined to never fall in love again.”
Noelle rubs my shoulder as Amelia tears up across from me, mouthing “I’m so proud of you.”
I flash her a half-hearted smile as Charlotte releases me and takes her seat again. “Wow. Okay. That was a lot, but I hope you know that we will always be there, no matter what, Pen. We could have helped you through this, too, but I get why you didn’t say anything. I feel like so much about you makes sense now.”
I chuckle. “Thanks.”
