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“Well, if your plan was to make me come, that’s a logical side effect.” She brushes my hair from my eyes and looks down at me. “You know what, though? I am kind of hungry.”
I tilt my head as I study her. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I’m hungry, and if you want to still feed me, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”
“You’ll have lunch with me?”
“As long as we can make this look like a working lunch... then, yeah.”
That little move of hers is exactly what I need to release this rubber band around my heart right now. “Okay. Let’s get cleaned up first.”
“Naturally.”
Penelope moves her skirt back in place as I dispose of the condom, pull my shorts back up, and watch her gather herself.
I’m starving, so I hope Garret returns sooner rather than later, but nerves are running through me the longer we don’t speak.
However, Penelope decides to bite the bullet and address the elephant in the room before I can say anything else. “I’m sorry.”
My heart pounds. “For what?”
“For leaving Friday night.”
“Thank you.”
“That’s just how I do things.” She looks off to the side.
“No, that’s how youusedto do things.”
“Excuse me?”
Her eyes meet mine again, but this time, I intend to be clear. “You’re not going to do that tome, Penelope.”
“Uh...”
“I don’t care what or who you’ve done before me, okay? But I will not let you use me. I thought we were...” I brush a hand through my hair. “Fuck, I thought things were going well between us.”
“They were.” I can feel her start to panic. “It’s just...”
Closing the distance between us, I grab her hand and lead her over to her couch. “Talk to me. What’s going through that head of yours?”
“I’m not sure you want the answer to that question.”
“If I didn’t want to know, I wouldn’t have asked.”
She’s at war with her mind, but I hope there’s some sort of breakthrough here. “This is just... a lot. I told you that I don’t usually do the relationship thing.”
“I get that, and I’m sorry if I’m coming on strong, but fuck.” I pull her onto my lap again because when we’re like this, I feel like she can’t hide from me. Then I bury my hands in her hair. “I want to be patient with you,foryou. It’s just hard when every time I feel like we’re making progress, you push back.”
“It’s who I am, Maddox. I hate being told what to do, how to live my life. I’ve been alone for a very long time...”
“Why?”
“Because it’s how I chose to survive.”
I exhale heavily, accepting that this isn’t going to be solved quickly, but at least we’re taking steps in the right direction. “That fucking kills me, especially because I know what that’s like, too. I’ve had shit happen that I chose to ignore, buried under alcohol and bad decisions. It almost cost me all of my hard work, Pen. I know it’s not easy to face shit, but—”
“I’m sorry. I am. I’m trying... but there’s all this stress on me right now. And I know we shouldn’t be doing this. It’s in the back of my head every time we talk or see each other.”
