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Whoa. Where did that thought come from?
Avoiding an internal freak-out, I push that thought aside as we arrive next to the boys and Noelle pulls another chicken nugget from her bra.
“Hey, boys. Maddox, Vince, and Hayden—this is Noelle, the last of my best friends who just arrived.”
At that moment, I notice each of the guys has what looks like a cookie in his hands, but every face is scrunched up in disgust.
Maddox tosses the cookie to the table, wipes his hand on his shorts, and then moves to shakes Noelle’s. “Pleasure to meet you, Noelle.”
“Likewise.”
My eyes dart around the group again and then behind them to the table where a basket of favors sits for the community to take as a thank-you for visiting the event today. But those definitely aren’t meant for people.
Oh. My. God.They didn’t.
Jeffrey confirms my suspicions first. “Where did you get a chicken nugget from?” he asks Noelle. “I’d gladly eat that over these cookies.”
Noelle finishes chewing and then replies, “I brought them. They’re one of the only things I can eat right now and not throw up.”
“Fuck, I should have brought food.” He tosses the last remnants of his cookie on the table and licks his lips like he just ate poison. “The food they provided for us is disgusting, Penelope.”
“Um, Jeffrey...”
A few of the other guys chime in.
“It tastes like cardboard.”
“No, more like worms.”
“I imagine this is what licking an asshole tastes like.”
“Maybe your asshole. My asshole is clean.”
“Fuck you, this was your idea!”
“I didn’t know they were going to be gross. I mean, look,” Jeffrey says, grabbing another cookie from the basket and holding it up. “It’s wrapped in a clear bag with a yellow bow on top, looking perfectly appetizing. And it’s shaped like a bone, which I thought was a cute idea because of the dogs, you know. But then you taste it, and...” He visibly shudders.
“Um, guys. You’re not going to like what I’m about to tell you.” They all spin to face me, and I almost don’t have the heart to break the news.Almost.But when have I ever not taken advantage of a humorous moment? “Those aren’t cookies, and they’re not for humans. Those are dog biscuits, boys.”
The looks I get back at me are fucking priceless.
“What the fuck, Jeffrey!” Damien shouts, throwing his biscuit on the table and then scraping his tongue with his fingernails.
Ethan and Nick start dry heaving, and then Maddox, Hayden, and Vince share a look before tossing their biscuits, too, and searching for something to drink.
“I need water!” Hayden shouts. “Fuck, Penelope. Do you have gum? A mint? A toothbrush?”
Noelle pulls a pack of gum from her bra, which apparently is serving more of a purpose than a purse right now. “I have gum!”
The boys rush her, and I have to step in front of her to protect her, splaying my hands to the side. “Whoa. Easy does it, boys. One at a time.”
Standing guard, I wait for Noelle to dispense a piece to each man as they frantically chew the gum to relieve the taste of the dog biscuits they tried to consume.
God, why am I not having this filmed?
After everyone settles down, I lead them over to the building at the park where lunch is being served. But Maddox hangs back nonchalantly so we can speak. I haven’t been alone with him all day, so I can’t say that I wasn’t eager for a moment with him, too.
“Are you hungry? I heard they’re serving burgers, but if you would rather have more dog biscuits, I’m sure they would let you take some of those, too.” I try to stifle my laugh, but it’s no use. I have to let it out.
