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EIGHTEEN
JONAS
When I plucked the note off my Jeep this morning, fury slithered in my bloodstream. When Autumn stopped here earlier to collect the note to take to the police and her attorney, her red eyes and withered stature nearly crippled me. But when Autumn called forty-three minutes ago to tell me an unknown man was trying to remove Clementine from school, I lost my shit. Literally.
Once our call disconnected, I threw a wrench at the back wall of the garage. Then, stormed into the office, grabbed a pillow off the couch, and screamed into the stuffed material. More than once. Although the action was cathartic, relief didn’t follow.
The measures this man takes to hurt Autumn, emotionally more so than physically, blows me away. Disgusts me more than comprehensible. Makes me violent and irrational. I aim my rage at inanimate objects, but it boils beneath the surface, begging to seep out. I remind myself this is probably all a ploy. A way for him to provoke me or Autumn. And as much as I am dying to take my aggression out on him, I won’t.
I refuse to stoop to his level and be a lesser man. Money may buy you fancy things, but it doesn’t make you a decent human. People choose to be decent. From what I have seen so far, Leo has made his choice and it is nowhere near respectable.
For the last five minutes, I have laid on the creeper and stared at the same oil filter. If today were a good day, I would have removed it four and a half minutes ago. I have yet to lift a finger.
Just as I do, the familiar rumble of Autumn’s car garners my attention. I roll out from under the car, point to James and ask him to finish the job. After my outburst earlier, everyone here is on edge. So James nods and shifts his attention. After this is all over, I need to treat the staff to beers and burgers.
I jog over to the car. Autumn and Clementine both get out, opposing expressions on their faces. Autumn looks as if she just went ten rounds in a fight and came out visually unscathed. But I know her insides are pulverized. Clementine is all smiles and sunshine. Obviously, she has no idea what all has happened today. Which is good. Children don’t deserve to bear the brunt of adult issues.
With as much enthusiasm as I can muster, I haul both my girls in for a hug. “Hey,” I whisper in Autumn’s ear. “Been worried about you both.”
Autumn squeezes me with more oomph. “Can we stay here until you’re off work? I-I don’t feel safe going anywhere else right now.”
“Don’t even have to ask.” I unravel my grip on them and squat down in front of Clementine. “Hey, sunshine. Let’s go sit in my office for a bit. Is that cool with you?”
Clementine nods and scrunches up her nose. “It smells funny here.”
Autumn and I laugh. “Yeah. Sometimes the stuff in car engines smells weird. But I promise the office smells nice.” I cup a hand around my mouth and lean into her. “My dad sprays flower air freshener in there sometimes.” She giggles and I love how unaware she is of the chaos.
I lead them into the office and tell them to use whatever they need. Before I head out to the garage, I order lunch for the three of us and promise my girls to be in when it arrives.
Back in the garage, Dad wanders over. “Everything okay?” He tips his head toward the office.
There is no use in sugarcoating it. Because shit is definitelynotokay. “Not really.” I relay what happened at Clementine’s school. Relay how unsafe Autumn feels. Share how she is doing her best to not let Clementine hear all the nitty-gritty details because it isn’t fair to worry her over something she ultimately can do nothing to fix.
Out of nowhere, Dad hauls me in for a hug. “Sorry you’re both dealing with this. Let us know if you need help. Even to watch Clementine so you two can run errands or go to appointments.”
I nod. “Thanks, Dad.”
Taking back over my job, I thank James and work until lunch arrives. Now that Autumn and Clementine are here, I breathe easier. Focus without difficulty. Relax with less effort.
When the food is delivered, Dad tells me to take as much time as I need. I carry the bag into the office and enjoy the next hour with my girls. Clementine has been busy doing schoolwork while Autumn occupied herself with the internet, reading old magazines in the office, and occasionally helping Clementine with her work.
We munch on sandwiches while Clementine tells us about the art project they are doing—a collage made from magazine clippings where each image must represent a letter of their name. Needless to say, her collage will have lots of pictures. While Clementine eats french fries and does a sheet of math equations, I take the opportunity to talk in hushed tones with Autumn.
“Might be a good idea if we update everyone later. We can visit the shop after work, then text everyone not there.”
Autumn nods and leans on my bicep while resting her head near my shoulder. “Good plan.” I kiss the crown of her head and she closes her eyes. “Just want this to be over.”
“Me too. Soon.” I take one of her hands between mine in my lap. “Until then, definitely don’t want either or both of you alone. Not even at home.”
May seem like drastic measures, but when it comes to my girls, no measure is too extreme. I will protect them until my last breath. And that breath won’t come anytime soon.
Wetness hits my collarbone, and I tip my chin to look at Autumn. She stares at Clementine with silent tears rolling over the bridge of her nose and down her cheek. I drop a hand from hers to reach up and wipe away her tears. She leans in to my touch and kisses my palm.
Autumn tilts her head on my shoulder, pressing her lips to my neck, my jaw, beneath my ear. My eyes roll back as my jaw falls slack. We have kissed several times with Clementine in the room, but right now, I want to kiss her fiercely. Much stronger than any PG suggested rating.
I cup her jaw and meet her lips in the middle. Warmth and tenderness and intimacy collide as our lips move in time. Soft and gentle at first. But the moment she paints the tip of her tongue across my upper lip, I gasp and tug her closer. Inhale her heady cherry vanilla aroma. Taste the cola on her tongue. Tremble as she adjusts her position and fists my hair. Scoot her closer when she moans down my throat. Groan in return when I brush over her pulse and feel how viciously her heart thumps for me. For us. For this kiss.
When her hands untangle from my hair and drop to my chest, I break the kiss but don’t lift my lips from hers. “If she wasn’t here right now…”
