AllFreeNovel
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No matter what stresses life hands us, it should be me who loses sleep and worries about the outcome. In time, I will need to share everything with her—who her birth father is and what he is trying to do. But the time hasn’t arrived. Not yet. And I plan to keep her life normal and full of the routine she knows.
Her eyes flutter open and peer up at me. “‘Morning, Mama.”
I love her sleepy voice. Sweet and raspy and innocent. Not a care in the world. A perfect mix of angel and groggy.
“‘Morning, pumpkin. Did you sleep good?”
She nods, slow and steady. Then she stretches out her tiny hand and paints small semicircles beneath my eyes with her fingertip. Her lips turn down at the corners and sadness shadows her eyes.
“Mama, why do you look so tired?” My sweet, sweet girl.
Generally, Clementine is happy-go-lucky. Smiles and laughs and goofs off. But she has the biggest, empathetic heart. She may not understand the trials and tribulations adults deal with, but she senses when something is amiss.
“Just didn’t sleep well.” I bop her nose with my finger. “Nothing you need to worry about, though.”
“Okay, Mama.” A soft smile plumps her cheeks. “When will we see Sparty again?”
Over the last few days, I have dreaded the moment Clementine would ask about Jonas or Spartan. One of the reasons I didn’t want her getting attached. Because if shit hit the fan—which it did, just not the shit I expected—she wouldn’t understand why we didn’t see each other anymore.
For now, as painful as it is, I just need things between me and Jonas to slow down. Dramatically. As in, press pause. For now, I need to spend all my time with Clementine. Because the possibility of Leo taking her from me seems inevitable.
Not that I will go down without a fight.
“Soon, pumpkin.” And I hate how easily I make the promise to her. Hate how I don’t know if I can fulfill said promise. “I have to take care of some special Mama-only tasks first. Okay?”
I love and hate how her little golden eyes narrow as she tries to read my mind. To find falsehoods in my words. I pray she doesn’t. “Okay. But I really miss Sparty.”
“Me too, pumpkin.” I bite the inside of my cheek and smile halfheartedly. “Now, though, it’s time to get up and get ready for school.”
And just like that, conversation over.
Clementine and I go about our morning routine of dressing and styling and eating breakfast. Thankfully, she doesn’t mention Spartan again. Before long, we hop in the car and drive toward her school. She bops and sings to the music and I savor every moment from the corner of my eye. Her dark hair in a ponytail with a bandana tied around the elastic. The snug black long-sleeve top with cherry print, loose jeans, and saddle shoes. My sweet girl.
I will not lose her. I refuse to lose her.
After I drop Clementine off and watch her enter the school, I drive to the appointment I have dreaded all week. An appointment with a family law attorney.
After being served Monday morning, I read through the not-so-thin packet of paperwork. Overwhelmed doesn’t remotely cover the whirlwind spinning in my head. I am no idiot, but legal jargon is not a language I speak. It was easy enough to decipher Leo requested sole custody of Clementine. The rest of the documentation was jibber-jabber.
Parking in the lot, I stare up at the building and read the large placard on the wall.Theresa Chang, Esq. Family Law Attorney serving the community for over 20 years.
Twenty-plus years has to count for something, right? No one flourishes and stays in business if they have no idea what they are doing. God, I hope so.
I double-check I have the folder of documents tucked in my purse, take a deep breath, then exit the car.
After setting an appointment over the phone, the receptionist gave me a rundown of what today’s appointment would entail and what I needed to bring. My sole wish is this attorney will be the one to represent me. Time and money are tight. Bad enough I have to shell out thousands of dollars to deal with Leo in the first place. I don’t need to waste any of the limited time I have.
The building is a subtle gray with large white pillars along the front, giving an outward appearance of a small courthouse. Two large oak trees shade majority of the building while ferns surround the trunks. An array of colorful flowers planted in large terra-cotta pots sit near the entrance and give an inviting vibe to an otherwise daunting structure. For a law office, it holds enough charm to appear less unnerving.
I fist the strap of my purse tight, take a deep breath, and stroll toward the entrance as I mumble self-assurances to settle my nerves.
Two feet from the door, I freeze and stare at the handle as if the metal will scald my skin. A delusion that holds no truth, but since Sunday evening, most of my thoughts have been a mishmash of chaos. How could they not be? Anyone in my shoes would freak out. Scream and tug at their hair. Ask why this was happening. Hell, plenty of people would behave much worse. Turn physically violent.
But I rein it in. I have to. For Clementine.
I clench my palms then release the tension and stretch my fingers straight again. You got this. No one will take Clementine from you. No one. Just breathe.
For days, this has been my mantra. What has kept me moving forward every time I want to crawl in a hole and wither. Fingers crossed this attorney will give me good news. Ineedgood news.
