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Smoke
Istared at her and saw the determination in her eyes. No matter what I said, she would fight me on it, so I would need to tread carefully or risk losing her for good.
That was the last thing I wanted to do, especially after last night. I had not shown up here to get her in bed, but to reason with her. Getting to make her orgasm three more times was a bonus. Waking up next to her was the jackpot.
“Tell me why you are so hellbent on doing this alone, and maybe that will convince me.”
“You are right that Wade was controlling. He expected me to do as he asked — or more like told — but I’m a people pleaser, so I was willing to do that. If I could keep him happy, then he wasn’t as controlling. I don’t want you to think he was abusive because he wasn’t. He never laid a finger on me.”
“You can be an abusive asshole and never touch someone, Lillian.”
“He wasn’t.”
“Didn’t you say something about how he told you that you were boring in bed, or bad in bed or something like that?”
“Yes.”
“That’s abusive, Lilly.”
She huffed. “I don’t think so.”
“How can you not see that? The fact that he was controlling is another form of abuse. Abusers control their victims, cut them off from their family and friends, and don’t let them do anything alone. They watch every penny they spend and say demeaning things to them to cut their self-esteem to nothing. That sure sounds like the man you have talked about to me.”
I could see the anger building. “Zack, can you just let it go. I’m telling you that he was not abusive!”
I stared at her trying to figure out a way to get her to see what I was saying. “You’re wrong, Lillian, and I know too damn well how controlling men can be. He might have divorced you, but I bet he never believed you would move away. I have little doubt that he is the one that did this to your apartment, and I don’t think he will stop at that.”
“You don’t know what you are talking about, Zack.” She stood. “I think you should go.”
“Lillian, come on.”
She snapped at me. “No, you come on, Zack! I’m finished with this conversation. If you cannot accept what I say, then don’t, but this conversation is over. I am not going to be afraid of something that will never happen from a man who wanted to be as far away from me as he could be. Hell, he probably would have packed my stuff and moved it here himself if I had asked.”
“Sit back down, and let’s finish breakfast.”
She walked toward the foyer. “No, I need you to leave, Zack.”
“Come on, Whiskey.”
“Do not ‘Whiskey’ me, Zack. My name is Lillian.” She rubbed a hand over her face. “Don’t make me have to quit my job.”
I burst to my feet. “Quit your job? Why the hell would you do that?”
“Because if you keep pushing me, I will have no other choice. You sat there and told me that Wade was abusive because he was controlling. You are being no better than he was. Remember that pot calling the kettle black?”
Jesus, she was right. I ground my teeth. I did not want to leave things this way, but she was too angry to talk to her right now. My best bet was to go and let her calm down. We could discuss this later.
I approached her, and she stepped away from me as if she were afraid of me. “I’m not going to hurt you, Lillian.”
“Then please go before you do, Zack.”
I stared at her, trying to find something to say. I had pictured this morning going so differently. “Fine, I’ll leave, but please don’t quit. Lydia would have my head.”
She lifted her chin. “Then don’t give me a reason to.”
I nodded at her, afraid that if I spoke, I would start begging her to listen to me. I let myself out of her apartment and watched while she closed the door. I heard the lock engage before I slowly walked away.
When I woke up this morning, I had every intention of convincing her to return to my place. If I couldn’t do that, I would have gone back to my place, picked up some things, and come back.
