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“Would you?” Mark asks and Hally nods her head.
My heart hammers in my chest, too hot and too full of raw emotion to settle into place.
“But we were like oil and water; that’s the saying, right?” she asks and then looks up at me. “We picked fights for no reason, both of us hotheaded and unwilling to be wrong.”
“Young love,” Mark says beneath his breath and Nancy nods, jotting that down too.
“Young and stupid,” Hally says and I hate it. We may have been, but that night is what she’s thinking of. I can see it in her eyes.
“I was stupid,” I interrupt her and Hally finally looks up at me, shaking her head slightly.
She swallows and almost says something. She almost contradicts me, but then bites down on her words. She doesn’t want to fight me, and I hate it. My hand clenches into a fist on the table, feeling like I’m losing her.
“And you broke up, over the fighting, we’ll say,” Nancy says as the silence stretches for too long. “Now what was on your mind when you saw him, Hally?” Nancy asks and my body stills, my lungs refusing to fill.
How could I not have noticed? I glance back down at her picture. How was I so blind to her pain? I put my elbow on the table and my chin in my hand. Covering my mouth with my fingers I keep my emotions in check, waiting for Hally to answer.
“I was scared,” she says with a nod and then another, the second one more confident. I can see it in her eyes that she wants to tell them the truth.
She’s sweet and naïve, so it’s only a matter of time before she slips. In this industry, they never let up.
Before they can ask her why, she gives a small smile and says, “I thought he wouldn’t want me the way I wanted him.” Her voice is hopeful and filled with nostalgia.
Even I would believe her, if I didn’t know it was a lie.
She was scared of our past, of that night. The reminder and the pain it carries.
“Now, Nate, you need to remember these details,” Nancy says and it pisses me off.
“Easy enough since it’s all true,” I snap back at her. They think it’s a lie? A charade? I don’t care.
The only thing I care about is the fact that she’s hurting and I’ve been ignoring it.
There’s one person who could destroy me and she’s the one I’m giving everything to.
CHAPTER18
Harlow
Ten years ago
April 12
Nina’s is an old mom and pop type place on the corner. It’s a little Italian restaurant on Fourth Street, small and right on the edge of the rough part of town, but it’s where we used to go on Fridays. They had five dollar pizzas and dollar drinks. It was cheap and a habit we got into.
It’s also where we were when it started, when I decided to be an idiot. Really, I just wanted to piss him off. I think that’s what kids do when they’re in love and hurt. They lash out. I know better now, or at least I like to pretend I do. But back then, I just wanted him to regret throwing away what we had. It was foolish and it’s why I think it was all my fault.
“I want to tell my parents,”I tell him again. I swear he’s ignoring me, and it’s pissing me off. He knows how important this is to me. It’s eating me alive.
We had sex. We’ve really been having sex regularly. Every time I see him. Every fight we get into. All I want to do is kiss him and then more.
Last night was my breaking point. I sneaked out and met Nathan at the corner store. He didn’t hesitate to buy the box of condoms, even with me standing right there. I held his hand with both of mine and tried to pretend it was okay, but it wasn’t.
Miss Andrews was at the register and she knows my mother by first name. I don’t want my parents to find out because of someone else. Instead of bringing it up last night, we fought about him buying the condoms and then used them in the backseat of his car.
Some backbone I have.
I have to admit; I like it though. I like people knowing. I like him having me whenever he wants. Wherever he wants. Even if that makes me dirty. But I don’t want people to think of me that way and definitely not my parents. I can’t have them finding out from someone else.
