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His eyes dropped to her lips again.
“We turn?” he asked.
“Yes.”
Still, neither of them moved. They stood looking at one another.
Common sense shouted out warning after warning through his mind. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t pull her in closer; couldn’t,shouldn’t, kiss her. He’d been too poor, too lowly once before. It had cost his first wife her life. He wouldn’t drag another woman down to his level. He wouldn’t stay in Charlotte’s life if all he could ever be was her problem. The thing that stood between her and the asylum girls.
The heavy realization broke the spell.
Seth dropped both Charlotte’s hands. If a simple friendship with him was already causing Charlotte heartache, then he didn’t want to imagine what a true connection would cost her.
“Sorry,” he said, moving away, “but I think it would be best if I do not subject London to my lack of abilities in this department.”
He turned his back toward her, but he was still aware that she remained in the same place he’d left her.
“If that’s what you truly want.”
Of course, it wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted—more than anything—to march directly back over to her and to kiss her senseless.
Well, almost more than anything. Even stronger than the desire to kiss her was his need to protect her, to see that no harm came to her. Even if that harm came inadvertently from him.
“I think it’s best,” he said, still with his back toward her.
Nothing was said between them for several breaths. Finally, Seth turned around. He glanced at Charlotte, but the sadness there was palpable, and he looked away once more.
“No doubt you are being missed even now,” he said. “You ought to return to dancing. I will leave after you have had ample time to make your way back.”
“What if, instead of just leaving, after I’ve left, you come to the ballroom as well? We could take a turn about together.” She tried to fill her voice with a bit of levity. “No dancing involved.”
How he wished he could. Despite a sincere dislike of the way society insisted on staring at and judging him whenever he was present, he gladly would have returned to the ballroom if only to spend some more time with Charlotte.
But if he couldn’t convince a few people that he and Charlotte were only friends while arguing over dinner, with the state he was in now, there was no chance at all he could convince a room full of people he didn’t care far more deeply for her than he ought.
“I don’t believe it would prove helpful to the plan.”
Charlotte slowly folded her arms across her chest. “I see.”
The stilted words between them were jarring after the smooth, easy laughter they’d shared mere moments ago. The candles seemed to shrink, providing more shadows than light.
He’d let his guard down for one conversation, and already he’d hurt her. Charlotte deserved someone far better than he.
“Well,” Charlotte said, drawing herself up. Though her voice shook slightly, her words were clear and firm. “If you do not care to continue our dance lesson, I think I will return to the ballroom. Good evening.”
She swept from the room, head held high and appearing every bit the elegant marchioness she was.
Seth watched her go. Then he collapsed into a chair and buried his head in his hands.
