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“No,” Lady Kingman said, “but that’s only because we never saw the point.”
Well, so much for refined society being always polite. Seth wasn’t insulted, more amused.
“After all, we run in very different circles, don’t we?” Lady Keats said, her nose slightly elevated.
If that was meant as an insult, it was lost on him. Seth knew he didn’t belong among such a crowd as this, and he didn’t care to pretend he did.
Still, it left him with nothing to do but stand by, silent, while the ladies spoke, as it would be rude to insert himself into a conversation when he was clearly not welcome.
“Now, dear,” Lady Keats said, “it’s the punch. It’s bit too watered down.”
Lady Kingman chimed in, “You wouldn’t want people to start thinking you couldn’t afford enough drink and so had to add water to make it stretch.”
More likely, the two ladies—whose names both started with K—were simply looking for something to criticize. Seth had never known Charlotte to serve anything other than the very best.
“I suppose I’d best talk to my housekeeper then,” Charlotte said, stepping away from the two elderly ladies with a polite smile that Seth knew meant she wasn’t actually concerned about the punch.
“If it pleases you,” Seth said, “I could carry a message to anyone you wish.” At last a chance todosomething. An entire evening and most of the night spent in idleness was almost more than Seth could handle. He’d only been a man of luxury for less than a year, and the constant hours with nothing to do had driven him nearly mad more than once.
“No, this is something I must see to,” Charlotte said.
“Then allow me to accompany you.” Was that the polite way to leave a conversation in which one had not been wanted to begin with? The amount of nuanced rules society clung to sometimes made his head spin.
“Presumptuous,” Lady Keats said beneath her breath to the other woman.
“Overstepping,” the other replied with a nod of her head, which sent the feathers in her headpiece bouncing.
Charlotte gave him a little grimace. “It appears it would be best if you stay here. I’ll only be a moment.”
“Of course,” he said calmly enough, though he couldn’t stop his teeth from grinding.
Charlotte moved away, and the moment he felt he could, Seth bowed to the other two women and moved off in the other direction. He would hate for either elderly lady to suspect him of trailing after Charlotte. Seth shook his head even as his feet took him of their own accord toward the doors.
Now that he’d made an appearance, spoken to Charlotte, and not been allowed to be of any service, there was no point in staying longer. He wanted to know what had gone wrong while he was gone, but it was clear this was not the time or place. He would call on Charlotte tomorrow and learn the whole of it then.
Leaving the din of the ballroom behind him, Seth made his way directly for the front door. He requested his horse be brought and then chose to wait outside.
How did any man live like this? Day and night, each blending into the other. Each as pointless and idle as the one before. His hands clenched open and closed a few times, and after he tried to still them, his foot began tapping.
Why had he even returned to London in the first place? Perhaps his previous instinct had been right, and it was better for everyone if he returned to the country and faded from high society. His daughters were married now and established. It wasn’t as though he had the funds to continue living in London for long.
Finally, his horse was brought around, and Seth mounted with no more than a quick word to the groomsman. Seth was fully aware that everyone else would have arrived at such a highly esteemed ball in a carriage. But now that Seth was living alone and didn’t need to think about his daughters’ comforts, readying a carriage for only himself had seemed so pointless.
It was all nonsense, that’s what it was. The fancy cravats and the well-turned phrases.
Immediately, Charlotte’s words, spoken several months ago, came to mind.But why is it all nonsense? What does that even mean?
He smiled despite himself at the memory. She’d been particularly put out with him that day. He pulled his horse to a stop, then turned in the saddle. He could just barely see Blackmore House down the road. What had he meant when he’d said high society was all nonsense?
The truth came from somewhere deep inside him, somewhere he didn’t often bother to go.
It was because here, where everyone had money and influence, he was useless. There was no work to be done. There was no friend who needed his help. There was nothing he could build and no one he could support. They all had everything they needed.
And that left him feeling wholly pointless.
Slowly, Seth turned back, facing forward once more. It was why, no matter that Charlotte had become a dear friend, they could never be more. It was why, no matter what anyone claimed, London would never be his home.
The only thing he managed to ever do in London was prove a reminder to society that his daughters had not been born into high society. He was only ever an embarrassment that Charlotte’s friends wished to brush away and out of sight.
Life in London had shown that no matter what title he held, Seth would never belong in Charlotte’s world.
