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Edward cleared his throat, his eyes darting about suddenly. Clara felt herself shiver with anticipation as he took her hands in his, looking into her eyes with renewed sincerity.
Here it is, she thought. He’s come to tell me about his marriage.
“I…want to apologize to you, Clara,” he spoke. His words were distant, his gaze flitting elsewhere as though he were in great discomfort. Clara felt tears well up, though she was unsure if it was due to sympathy for her beloved Edward or pity for herself, in what was now becoming a very familiar situation.
“I fear that without meaning to I have played with your feelings,” Edward said with a sad expression on his handsome features. “You have given your love to me, and through my actions I have sent you away, saying others—society, my duties, Helena and Judith—prevented us from being together. And in doing so I have abrogated my own responsibility as the recipient of your love.”
I forgive you! Clara thought despite herself, fearful to interrupt. Whatever you have done, I forgive you a hundred times over. Now let me leave so I can suffer my misery in peace!
“You must know,” he continued nervously. “Though I have never really considered such things before this, I have resolved not to marry until Christopher comes of age and assumes his duties. It has just not been possible considering my duties as a guardian.”
Clara swallowed her disappointment at this admission. It is exactly as I had thought. All is truly lost.
“Yes, Edward, I know. We agreed that Christopher is a wonderful young man, and he needs your support. But I know that whenever you find a suitable woman to—”
“Please,” said Edward, raising a hand and closing his eyes as though in pain. “Let me finish, Clara. This is difficult enough as it is.”
She felt her heart breaking at these words, so similar to what she had just heard herself telling him in the library.
He coughed, then cleared his throat once more before again taking her hands in his own. “As I said, I have always held firm that such things are simply not fated for me given my obligations.”
Edward’s shining dark eyes dipped to the ground. He drew a deep breath. “However, I cannot ignore the cries of my own heart any longer. I paid a visit to my mother and father the other day. I had anticipated a great deal of resistance to the idea, although once I made certain fiduciary details clear, they were actually very enthusiastic about the prospect.”
What on Earth is he talking about? Was it not they who chose a bride for him?
“And as Christopher has made his own preferences understood on this point…well…I cannot think of another reason not to pursue my heart’s desire. Nor am I particularly inclined to look for one.”
Edward slipped from his seat on the bench onto one knee before her on the grass, still clutching her hands in his. His curly dark hair rustling in the breeze, his eyes glittering in the sunshine, Edward looked up to her with reverence. Clara gasped.
“Clara St. George, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”
Once again her world was turned on its head. For the hundredth time in a day, Clara felt dizzyingly lost and confused, utterly unsure of what to believe or feel. As the cosmos spun around her, all she could do was to loose the words that were bubbling up from deep within her, from the place inside her that felt the quietest yet most important piece of her person.
“Oh, Edward!” she yelped, virtually before the last syllable had left his lips. “Oh, yes, yes, I will!”
Then Clara was in his arms, held aloft and twirling through the glorious English summer sunshine. Their lips came together in a marvellous crescendo as the starlings took flight from the trees.
