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Chapter 6
The very next morning, the party that her parents threw was nothing but a blur. It was the very last thing on Matilda’s mind as she brought her feet to the floor after sitting up on the edge of her bed. Her first thought was Aaron Masters.
Aaron was someone that seemed like he was straight out of her stories. There was not a single flaw on him to the point where she wondered if she had imagined the entire thing. Could it have been a dream? But no, she remembered it all so distinctly. She could not get the sensation of his lips and the stubble surrounding them out of her mind. And that was a problem because even though she got to know a little about Aaron and they had a few things in common, she did not really know the man. And sharing a kiss with him in secret on the Hardon grounds was simply scandalous.
Even after getting out of bed and walking around, Matilda was in a daze. Aaron was unlike anyone she had ever met before – charming, domineering, yet oddly soft.
And then there was the matter of the kiss. It was profound, yet, Matilda did not mean to do it. Just like Aaron, the kiss itself was unlike anything she had ever experienced. Usually, everything she did had an intention behind it. There was no action without purpose. From her dresses to the books she read to running away for some solace, it was notlike her to just act without thinking. And that’s what the kiss had been, driven by instinct and impulse.
But even though Matilda was betrayed by herself, there was no regret within her. She had enjoyed every second of their kiss. Matilda found it very special that he felt the same thing in that moment as she did.
She walked the Hardon House, trying to stay focused enough to be present with people while still reliving that moment with Aaron in her head. She wished that she could re-read it somehow.
“Good morning.” She said to a staff member named Harriet while walking. Even that interaction made her feel as though the person knew what happened. It occurred to her that holding such a secret was not easy.
“You’re are looking rather pleased today, my Lady,” Harriet replied. “You must have gotten a good night’s rest after the party last night.” Harriet laughed at her own quip.
“Indeed.” Matilda forced a laugh, the burden of the secret becoming heavier by the second.
“Charles looked rather happy as well.”
Matilda blinked in realization.She had almost forgotten about Charles altogether somehow.
“Are the rumours true that there is an engagement on the way?”
“Only time will tell, I presume.” Matilda found it odd that everyone brought up an engagement to Charles as if she would be the first to know. It also frustrated her that people thought it cute to speak of such things even on an ordinary day. But Matilda forced a smile and took her leave.
The second that she walked away from Harriet, it occurred to Matilda that maybe what she had been feeling towards Aaron were the butterflies that Ann spoke of. Did she feel a desire to be near Aaron? Yes. But it wasn’t in the way that she had expected it to be. And was because the thought made her heart race. She was unsure if nervousness played a part in butterflies. Perhaps she would one day ask Ann. She would need to find a way to do that without revealing the true man behind the feeling.
One thing was for sure, that feeling of needing to be near Aaron kept increasing. She found herself looking out one of the massive Hardon House windows thinking about what Aaron might be up to. She could see some of the stables from where she stood. The breeze was much like the one beneath the tree the day of the party. It gave her hope. The hope was lined with creativity, a creativity that she knew she should avoid but, like the kiss, could not.
So, in somewhat of a haste, she went to find Ann, who was usually not too hard to find. She spent most of her time cleaning Matilda’s room, in the kitchen, or dusting the library. When Matilda exhausted the first two options, she made her way to the library.
Upon laying eyes on Matilda, a hint of shock washed over her. “Your dress, it has ribbons today.” Ann spurted out.
Matilda looked down and then shrugged. “I uh, felt like colours today. Ann,”
“Yes…”
“I’d like to go on a phaeton ride today. The weather is quite nice.”
“It looks as though it might rain. Where do you see nice?”Ann had been correct. The sky held clouds the colour of stone.
“Well, uh, what is nice weather is rather subjective, wouldn’t you say. To some, rain is a terrible nuisance. But to a flower, it is like wine.”
“What do you know about wine?”
“Fine. Storm clouds or not, I still want to take the ride.”
Ann stopped organizing the books that she had been fussing withand looked at Matilda with a gaze that she had become used to from the woman. “Every day you grow just a bit more different, do you not?”
“That is for you to decide,” Matilda replied with a playful smile. She then took her leave.
***
Matilda waited at the front of the house for the phaeton. Her leg shook despite being firmly planted on the ground. Her thoughts betrayed her every now and then, wondering things like whether or not Aaron still even worked there. There were doubts like she had been a bad kisser or that she had disgusted him in some way. Maybe he felt her to be too forward, too much of a complainer. The negative scenarios seemed never-ending. But they were blanketed with positive ones. The way he looked at her right after the kiss threw a lot of her doubts away. How he opened up to her on somethings proved that their encounter was far more than a kiss.
Matilda wished that she could read enough of her own thoughts to figure out what the future held between the two of them, but like most things in life, her mind was not a book with the ending already written. It would harken back to what Aaron said about accepting adventure. She would just need to find it within herself to be brave.
