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“I am always willing to learn like you said.”
“I suppose that love is a mix of what it’s like to see a butterfly, an excitement that really does not compare to other things, and finally, an inescapable desire to be near that special someone. When all those aspects come together, you can place a safe bet that you may be in love.”
For Matilda, it was almost as if Ann had stolen the very feelings the characters in her books would feel. Which was ironic because Ann had separated them from the real world. It seemed as though love existed all the same in the real world.
“Enough with all this talk about love. I have a question for you now.” Ann said with a hint of pride. She had just finished fine-tuning the ribbons on Matilda’s dress. Ann always became so happy when she accomplished her little goals.
“Go ahead and ask. I am an open book!”
“As you see how difficult it is to make a plain dress nice, will you now start wearing fine dresses like this one in the future?”
Matilda lets out a laugh, it was bigger than she expected, and she thought that maybe it was due to the stress of the day. She had begun to feel somewhat fatigued. “I have grown rather accustomed to my collection of plain dresses because when I get into something like the grass, my mother does not get mad in seeing that my plain dress is filthy. But the few times that I wore the nice dresses and they got dirty, her disappointment had been a bit much for me. And perhapsdisappointmentis the wrong word. Anger would better suit her reaction.”
“I see,” Ann says. “We shall head back. You mustn’t be late for your meeting with Charles.”
Matilda nodded, clutching her book tightly in her hand.
***
Both of them met Charles by the small stream edging the property as he fished with his and Matilda’s father. Seeing everyone created a strange feeling inside of Matilda. As many times as she had seen them all together before, that time felt different. It felt as though she were walking into her future, a future she was unsure about but still carried a hope within.
“I shall leave you now.” Ann started. “Try not to get your dress too dirty.” She joked.
Before Ann walked off, Matilda grabbed her by the wrist. “What if there are no butterflies? Do you wait for them to arrive, or do you hope that they do instead?”
That softened face of Ann returned once more. “When was the last time you waited for a butterfly?” And then Ann took her leave.
Matilda contrives to sit a short distance away from the fathers to speak with Charles. They had been friends forever, so she never had to worry about the conversation being forced or weird. But given the thoughts that seemed to fill her mind unwarranted, it did feel unusual sitting next to him that day.
Matilda began to think to herself,
Comfort and ease must be a form of love. No one is antsy around a butterfly. Without being comfortable with someone, how could you possibly love them? And I am comfortable around Charles. We have known each other for so long. I never once feel out of sorts with myself when around him. So that must speak to something.
But what Ann said, about the sparks, about needing to be around someone, I do not have that with Charles. I do not miss him. I do not long for his company. And I want to know what that is like. I want to feel what Ann was speaking about. I want to feel what the characters in my books feel.
Matilda looked at Charles. She studied his face while he looked off in the distance. Those feelings were not there.
