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When he and Connor finally returned to town, Connor asked, “Why are you so angry, Brian. I tried to ignore it, but you look like you are going to explode.”
“Because Michael didn’t even tell me that he was meeting Harper. I was the one that pretty much got them together. I was the one that recommended to Michael that he should court her. And look, they were laughing like it was no one’s business. They looked like they were having a great time. And he didn’t even let me know. That’s rude if you ask me. That’s rude of her, too. You know, I drove her back when your sister hurt her ankle. I didn’t get a thank you from Harper. Barely a nod goodbye. But what should I care about that? I don’t. I don’t care. That’s the truth, Connor.”
Connor gave Brian a measured look, understanding that he was working himself up. Maybe he knew what was really going on. Knowing his awareness of those types of things, going back to his emotional intelligence, he most surely did. How would they go about their conversation in a measured way? And Brian wasn’t sure if he even wanted to entertain that. The most attractive idea was heading back home and going to sleep.
“You are acting like a child, you know that?” Connor said. “No, actually, even as a child, despite chasing me up a tree, I think that you were far more mature than you are acting now.”
His words were not calming Brian down. They were only making Brian’s nerves worse. “I do not appreciate that, Connor. I just told you everything that I was feeling. I don’t usually—”
“Well, maybe if you didn’t hold your emotions in all the time and hide behind sarcasm, you wouldn’t have these outbursts. If it wasn’t for your outburst at Harper’s party, she wouldn’t be with Michael, she would be with James.”
Connor went quiet after that, and Brian couldn’t tell if it was because he was waiting for a response from Brian or if it was because he had felt he went too far.
“You are taking Michael’s side then. And Harper’s.”
“There are no sides, Brian. You are just jealous that Michael is being himself with Harper. You couldn’t stop him from courting her unless you courted Harper yourself. But we all know you won’t do that because of your ideals. So, why don’t you just save yourself the trouble and forget about it all.”
“I will never marry. Those are my ideals.”
Connor let out a huff. “I know Brian. And that’s alright. I think that we have all accepted that. From the moment that you tried to leave town, we all knew what type of life you wanted to live. But that is not fair to Harper that you are holding her to the stakes over having a good time with Michael. Especially after you were the one that set them up.”
For a moment, Brian reflected on Connor’s words, almost accepting them himself. But there was a part of him that just could not do it. He believed what he believed. Michael should have told him that he was seeing Harper. They had been friends their entire lives and in their initial discussion, Michael saw how Brian truly felt about her. But that didn’t matter.
Connor was right about letting Harper live her life. If he would never marry her, that was only fair. But it was the principle of the thing. Brian had spent all that time searching for suitors and Michael didn’t even have the decency to let him know that he was taking Harper out. That was almost a direct slight to him.
“Brian,” Connor said. “I know what you’re doing. I know you. You are in your mind trying to justify your anger towards them both. But just face it…you’re jealous.”
Brian clenched his fist again. He found it funny that there had not been one bird chirp since his anger filled the woods. “I think that it would be best if you stopped speaking Connor. With all due respect.”
“I just want you to calm down. You are thinking with rage. I know how you get. Your thoughts don’t make sense when you are angry.”
“Connor…”
Just then Michael returned. “Harper sure looked stunning today, didn’t she? I can’t wait to—”
When Brian saw him and heard what Michael said, he immediately lunged at him. Michael had quickly taken a few steps back to avoid any physical contact. There were a few seconds where both Brian and Michael locked eyes and the situation had become apparent to Michael.
“Oh what, you like her again? You need to figure out what you want, Brian. I’m tired of these ups and downs. Harper and I had a good time. And maybe that was because you weren’t there to ruin it for us like at the picnic.”
“Just because you can make her laugh doesn’t mean your time with her wasn’t more boring than watching a frog sleep. You’re in over your head with confidence. She deserves way better than you.”
“Oh, you know what’s best for Harper? You don’t even know what’s best for yourself. If you’re not sulking at home, you’re drinking at home. The only reason your father wants you to get married so bad is because it’s shameful for him to even look at you.”
That was when Brian lunged at Michael again, this time clenching onto his neck. It wasn’t long before Connor got in between them.
“Over a woman?!” Connor yelled while keeping his arms spread out between them. “You’re going to get into a physical fight over a woman? One of our friends? Have you both no decency? You talk about pigs. You both are the only pigs that I see today.”
Brian stormed off and headed home. He avoided everyone in the house and went straight to his office where the letters sat there mocking him.
The anger had remained inside him for a good while. Eventually, the direction of the anger changed from the situation to Michael, to Harper, and finally landed on himself. There was no one to blame for the scuffle but himself. Connor had been right. He was looking for a reason to blame everyone but himself. He had pulled Michael into it and most likely threw a perfectly good friendship away over his own insecurities.
He didn’t deserve Michael as a friend. He didn’t deserve Connor after what had happened. But most certainly, Brian knew that he didn’t deserve Harper.
