AllFreeNovel
Share Us
James never went on about himself. He tended to convey whatever it was he had to, through his actions alone. That was where Leah most likely found him to be mysterious. Leah and Marianne were not great with analysing themselves like Harper.
Harper understood why she liked who she liked and why she disliked who she disliked. To Leah, quiet and strong was mysterious. But to Harper, those were attractive traits. Even the way he would laugh, always with a restrained essence like he didn’t want to go over the top in emotion, made Harper want to crack that shell of his.
“Why do you think we’ve been single for so long, Harper? It seems that every other day some woman with a terrible outlook on life and behaviour to match receives a ring and a man on one knee. And here we are talking about men as if they are mythical creatures that require magic to obtain.”
They both laughed and Harper was flattered that Leah asked her opinion. It was as though they were thinking the same thing. “Perhaps we value our friendship over romance a little too much? All of the women, ones I’ve noticed at least, have no friends.”
They both laughed again, and Harper joined Leah on the end of the bed. It brought her back to when they were younger.
They had grown up together and had seen each other through the worst and best of times. In many ways, Harper did not want life to change. The life she had been living, although boring at times, seemed simple enough. Change was never easy, and just talking about another year gone with her best friend saddened her.
“What do you think life will look like when we grow older?” Leah had asked her when they were twelve.
“It will look like this, but we will have more wrinkles.”
Leah had laughed. “What about families? Do you ever think of what that will look like for us?”
Even though Harper had been young, she thought about it all too often. Raising a family scared her. In watching her mother, even though it was not a complicated life, being a mother seemed like a lot of responsibility. And Harper wasn’t sure that she was up to the task. It would take a lot of strength and wisdom. How did her mother gain all that knowledge? Just by being alive? The whole role of motherhood was a never-ending battle where sleep and fun had all but left.
“Speaking in honesty, I am scared to start a family. I am not as strong as my mother.” It felt good to say it out loud to someone. Holding that fear in for so long had made her heart feel heavy and like she was less of a girl.
Leah extended a look as though she had been aware of how much Harper’s words reigned serious. “Do not feel guilty for that, as I too wonder if I will have the strength to be a mother. I can barely avoid spilling something on my dress. How am I going to raise children and be a good wife?
Hearing Leah say it out loud helped Harper to put things into perspective for her. If someone like Leah, a good person of high morals who learned quickly, never got into trouble, and had the respect of every adult in town, worried about her screwing up as a mother, then maybe worrying was folly. To be intimidated by such a thing gave it power. And maybe that’s where they were wrong.
“That is refreshing to hear,” Harper said. “I really thought that I was the only one. I don’t think you have anything to worry about when that day comes. You have always been successful at everything you do. I’m sure that when you are an adult and find a husband, you will excel at raising a family as well. I feel flawed. So that is where I believe—”
“Everyone is flawed, Harper. The best mothers are flawed.”
Harper, while sitting on the end of the bed, noticed a stain on her shoe. It was either mud or gravy. Harper couldn’t tell.
“Remember when we were twelve…” Harper started. “And we were speaking about one day having families, being scared, and accepting our flaws?”
“Yes, I actually think of that conversation often.”
“Do you still believe it all?”
“I believe that if you own your flaws, especially, you will have so many proposals that men will fight each other for your hand in marriage.”
They both laughed and continued to speak about how their proposals might go one day. Harper knew that she would one day look back and remember that conversation as well.
