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Chapter 21
Marianne had realised one important part of life over the past few weeks that she would never forget—be honest with yourself.
She had finally done it. After years of pretending to be someone that she wasn’t, years of pretending that she felt one way about this or that, years of forcing friendships, she had finally realised who she was and what she wanted.
In many ways, she didn’t care for Harper. It had always just been a silent competition between them both. She always received attention from the opposite sex. She always received praise on her looks and poise from people at parties. It was always Harper this and Harper that. It made Marianne sick.
But she had tried. She had given it her best shot over the years when it came to their friendship. Oftentimes, it seemed like a better idea to allow herself to be in her spotlight, take the mature route of things and hope that she should be so lucky in her own life to get the fawning and appreciation that Harper received without even trying.
It didn’t work.
And seeing the accidental marriage between Harper and Brian actually work out, that was the last element to Harper’s perfect little story that she could tolerate. It just always worked out for Harper. No matter how bad her life got, it somehow always corrected itself. And that wasn’t fair.
It was on that day, that Marianne had taken Leah to go visit Harper. It would be another chance to get Brian alone. That was all she had wanted. Marianne had come so close to touching his lips with hers, she needed to finish the job. She could not leave it where it stood. She knew that deep down, Brian was a rake. He could not commit to something if his life depended on it. And she would use that right to her advantage.
Walking beside Leah’s innocent frame, Marianne did feel a sense of guilt. One moment, she had been everyone’s friend, caring for them and trying to be their giant slab of stone for when they needed support. And at one point, she really did care for Harper. She had wanted to do the right thing by her. But enough was enough.
“I wonder if marriage has changed Harper at all,” Leah said. “They say marriage does that you know.”
Marianne shrugged. “I don’t think people change. I think what people classify as change is often just a haircut or a different wardrobe. People just like to say they’ve changed because they hate the person they were yesterday. But it’s all utter folly.”
Leah shot her friend a quick look. “Well then, someone is a little bitter today, aren’t they?”
Marianne laughed. “Not bitter, just honest. I am actually quite excited to see Harper. I want to see if you’re right, if marriage has changed our beloved friend.”
Leah sent her another curious look but sent no words to follow it.
They continued to walk in silence.
The sun beat down against them but was outperformed by the cool breeze. The weather helped Marianne to feel confident in her plan moving forward. It put her in a great mood.
She knew that if she wasn’t confident in herself, then Brian may not want her. He was a man that liked a strong woman and that’s what Marianne needed to be. She may have needed to come off as stronger than Harper.
But the truth was, as much as she wanted to see Harper fail, she wasn’t even sure if she wanted Brian anymore. His drunken behaviour the other day had shattered her image of him as a stern, unaffected man. Granted, his sarcasm and lack of caring for most things had already somewhat tarnished that reputation for her. At times, Marianne didn’t really see what all the fuss was about Brian. Yet, Harper had fallen for him, and he always had a swarm of women after him at every party. His appeal was lost on Marianne, for the most part.
“Have you ever had romantic thoughts about Brian?” Marianne asked Leah, finally breaking their walking silence.
“Maybe once or twice. When you grow up with someone it is only natural to have those thoughts, I think. Have you?”
“I have. More than once. But for the most part, I don’t get why everyone loves him so much…the women at least. He is quite rude. He makes no effort in putting forth his aspirations for the future, yet women would flock to him as if he was a stable candidate to be a husband. Even Harper has. But I’d think that someone like your brother would be the one that was more sought after.”
Leah took a moment to think. “You do realize that you are saying unkind words about our friend’s husband.”
“He is our friend. I am just saying what we all know, am I not?”
“I guess.”
“What about Harper?” Marianne reluctantly continued.
“What about her?”
“Don’t you think that she has an odd life as well? For someone who has never really put in a lot of effort towards things, her life has always just magically worked out for her. And then she suddenly has a marriage and that works out for her as well. That doesn’t bother you at all? You’re the friend that we’ve all always considered perfect, yet you’re not married, and Harper is.”
“It’s not a competition, Marianne. We should all be happy for one another.”
Marianne knew that her friend would say that. She wasn’t even sure why she had brought it all up in the first place. Just like Harper, Leah was predictable in her behaviour. She was always the straight arrow, yet Harper was the one that reaped all the rewards. How Leah wasn’t bitter about it all was beyond Marianne.
It all just made Marianne want to succeed over Harper even more so. The jealous itch that Marianne had ever since Harper got married to Brian, it was forever growing, and she needed to scratch it. She would do it for her mature friend Leah as well. She may have not admitted to the jealousy, but Marianne knew that it had to be there inside her somewhere. How could it not be?
