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“I didn’t want my daughter to lose who she was, and that’s what has happened. If you manage to obtain a proposal, I can see you losing your identity completely.”
Isabel shook her head.
“I don’t understand you at all. I’ve done my lessons, something that you said I had to do, and I’m being the perfect debutante.” She tugged on her hair. “I’m on my way to getting a proposal from the Duke of Gallison, I’m sure of it. If I can get that, I’ll be the most successful debutante of the Season. Lady Blythcourt is very sure of it.”
“Since when have you taken Lady Blythcourt’s word as gospel?”
“Since she knows what happens in Society,” Isabel shot back. “You might think you know about the ton, but she knows so much more than you. I’m more inclined to believe what she says.”
Lady Dunley’s expression flinched. Her lips tightened.
“I wanted you to find a husband, but I also wanted someone to fall in love with who you were before. A bit of originality is not a bad thing, and I could see you being an interesting wife for anyone. You just needed a few lessons on how to behave in polite Society without embarrassing yourself, and you’ve taken it to another level.”
“Being original is going to make me stand out in a bad way. I’m not going to do that, Mother.”
“So, you’re willing for the Duke of Galliston to be in love with a lie.”
Isabel bared her teeth.
“I’m not a lie, Mother! That’s a horrible thing to say!”
“What else is it when you forget to stay in touch with who you really are?” Lady Dunley headed towards the door. “I’m going to be in the garden. I need to clear my head right now.”
“Mother …”
But her mother had left the room, closing the door behind her. Isabel groaned and sagged onto the settee. She didn’t like having arguments with her mother, but they seemed to be happening a lot lately. It was like their relationship had become strained.
Isabel didn’t know why that was the case. Lady Dunley had complained over the years that her daughter didn’t have the conventional lessons as a child and that she wasn’t as refined as she would have liked. Now she was, and she still wasn’t happy. What did Isabel have to do for her mother to appreciate what she was doing?
At least Lady Blythcourt was supportive. The older woman was very pleased with what she was achieving. Even she was surprised that Isabel had managed to snag the attention of a duke on her first social engagement. But that just made her even more proud. Hester was equally proud, although she did get a little put out when Isabel told her she didn’t want to hear about her ant farm and butterflies again a couple of weeks back.
Maybe her mother was right; she was forgetting who she really was. Listening to her cousin’s companion talk about the various insects she went off exploring on her time off and the magnificent species she came across had been fascinating. Isabel could have listened to her for hours.
But that was then. And Isabel had grown up. She thought that was the end of it. She was more mature, and she was more practical. That should be important, shouldn’t it?
Why did that feel hollow? And why did she feel like something was missing?
Thoughts of Richard floated across her mind, and Isabel pushed them away. She was not going to think about him now. Richard Sidney was not on the same social level as her, so Isabel should have put him aside. Their friendship couldn’t overcome their class stations now.
But she remembered the expression on his face when he walked away from her three weeks ago. He had been upset with her. Angry, even. Maybe a little heartbroken. That had given Isabel a bit of pause. Heartbroken about what? Their friendship? Or that he wouldn’t get a chance to kiss her again?
She really needed to stop thinking about that kiss. It had been beautiful, better than she expected a kiss to be, but it had been with the most unsuitable person possible. Isabel couldn’t let it happen again.
Even if she couldn’t stop thinking about it, which was driving her mad.
