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“So, we might have…. kissed, twice.” I hear her gasp on the other line and start giggling like a schoolgirl.
“Yes! I knew there was something there with the way you talked about this man. So, what does that mean? Are you guys together already?” I know she wants to ask a million more questions, but I cut her off before she can rattle on.
“The truth is I have no idea! I accidentally kissed him after you hung up the phone when you called me about my plus one. He just says the right things at the right times and my brain shuts off and then things just happen. Then last night he kissed me, but I don’t even know why because…”
“Wait you were with him last night? Any birthday sex you care to share about?”
“Jesus, you sound like Ilene.” She laughs.
“I’m sorry, I haven’t had sex in a month so I’m desperate for any details. Go on.”
“Okay so I kind of pulled a jealous girlfriend thing yesterday when I overheard another student talking about how he said her writing was so good and that she was a gifted writer.”
“Okay now I’m confused. You got jealous because he said another person’s writing was good?” I sigh because I know that no matter how I explain it, it’s going to come out like I was throwing a temper tantrum.
“I know it sounds stupid, but he is what kept me going Izzy. Everything he said to me was always there in my head on replay to make sure I never forgot my dream of writing. Then hearing that he just went around telling everyone they were gifted writers just made his words not mean as much.”
“I didn’t realize he was that important. I wish you would have told us that, you know we would have supported you in writing or if you stayed with law school. I love you very much Al, but his words still mean something to you or else you wouldn’t still be dwelling on it. Just because he said this other person was a gifted writer doesn’t take it away from you.” I smile because that is exactly what Dex said last night.
“That’s what he said last night. I’m just so confused now. We’ve kissed twice but we both didn’t let it go any further.” I hear her sigh in disappointment that no juicy sex details are coming in this conversation.
“I don’t even know if I want more with him. I just got divorced a few months ago and he is my professor. That’s so unprofessional and I think there are rules against student-teacher relationships.”
“Al…yes you got divorced a few months ago but Andrew and your relationship was gone way before then, you told me that. There may be rules against a student and teacher dating, but that isn’t going to stop your guy’s attraction to one another.”
I wish I knew what the best choice was going forward because the constant back and forth inside of me is going to tear me apart.
“I know but I don’t understand why all of a sudden, he wants me now. Like, I just showed back up in his life and he is wasting no time in flirting and kissing me. We aren’t the same people we were seven years ago.”
“You have a point, but we were also only seventeen back then. That doesn’t look to good for someone who is a teacher and ten years older than you. He could have got into trouble for that and then lost his job.
I know she has a point but why didn’t he reach out to me after. The only contact I’ve had with him was when he accepted my friend request on Facebook, but even then, that was a long stretch. He deleted his account, and I hadn’t heard from him in the following years.
“I know, I just thought he would have looked for me after graduation and it never happened. So, I just assumed he didn’t like me in that way, but now he is putting in all the stops to try to get my attention. He built me bookcases and helped me decorate my apartment for crying out loud. I just…” I take a deep breath before finishing.
“I just don’t want to get hurt again Izzy”
“I know, but if he is doing all of this for you and you’ve only been in town for a week. I think it’s a clear sign that he is trying to show you how he feels. I’m not saying jump on it if you don’t want to, but he is clearly showing you where he stands when it comes to you Al. I support you either way!” I smile and try to hold back my tears before replying to her.
“I know, thank you Izzy. I’ll keep you updated and don’t worry about Janet; she is not coming to the bachelorette party we have planned for you!”
“I love you Al.”
“Love you to.”
I put my phone on my coffee table and plop down on my couch and sit there thinking about every scenario that will play out if I decide to entertain Dexter. Each one that pops into my head ends with him getting in trouble and getting fired and I would never want that for him. Before I can get lost in my thoughts, there’s a knock on my door. I open it to this young man with a package in his hand and asks me to sign for the delivery.
I look the package over to try to find a return address but there isn’t one. When I bring it back inside, I’m excited but also reluctant to open it and see what’s inside. I’m too impatient to wait any longer and start ripping it open. On top is a purple card and I read it to see who the package is from.
You left class early yesterday so I couldn’t give this to you, and we were so busy all night that I forgot about it to be honest. Forgive me for giving it to you late because every birthday girl deserves a present.
-Dex
I can’t contain my smile and I place the note down and go right into the box.I gasp when I pull out a beautiful special edition of To Kill a Mockingbird. It’s hardcover and so gorgeous with its gold accents.
I flip it open to smell the pages but am frozen by the first page. It’s a signed copy and in that instant, I’ve made up my mind about this man!
I can’t believe he would give me something like this. I go and put it in my bookcase and step back to look at it. We didn’t get to put books on my shelves, so they are still on my floor, but just having that one book on there fills my entire body with warmth. I wish I had his number to thank him, but e-mail will have to do. I type up an email and then instantly deleted it. I’m not sure if the school filters the emails and can see them so I better make this look class related.
