AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Hey," he said, grabbing me by the arm as he sat back down on the bed. His grip was too tight to break without wrenching my arm out of its socket, so I had no choice but to stay there. "Look at me."
When I refused, he took my chin in his hand, forcing me. I had no choice but to meet his eyes. He seemed genuinely surprised, and a little bit horrified by whatever he found in mine.
"I couldn't have hurt you that much," he said, even though he didn't sound sure.
"It wasn’t the sex," I gritted out. "Just let me go."
"No," he said without hesitation, his grip tightening. When his eyes bored into mine like that, tinged with red and the remnants of satisfaction, it really was hard to tell the difference between him and the vampires we hunted. It wasn't even like I could use bloodthirst to distinguish them, because if anything, that was a contest he would win. "Not until you tell me what's wrong."
"I don't know!" I cried with enough force that his hand actually fell away and he just sat there, staring at me. "I don't fucking know, okay? It's nothing, and it's everything. One minute, you're gentle and almost kind, and the next, you're crueler than ever. You touch me like you actually want me, and then you go stone cold and look at me like I disgust you. I try so hard to do everything you tell me. To make you happy. To be whoever you want me to be, but it's impossible when that changes every fucking minute."
He said nothing for long enough that I had plenty of time to ruminate on my words. Enough time that every last one of them became a dagger in my chest, and I was already bleeding out. When he finally spoke, his voice was the same cool, silken tone that had lured me into a false sense of security so many times before. The gentleness of his touch as he pressed his hand against my cheek made it even worse.
"Why does it matter what I think of you?"
All I could do was stare back at him in disbelief. "Are you serious?" I asked with a laugh that sounded dry and bitter, but not half as much as I really was. When I searched his face and found no hint of the deception I was looking for, I realized that was the worst outcome.
It would have been so much easier if this was all just a cruel game he was playing with me. At least then I would know what I was to him. At least I would know I meant something to him, even if it was only as a joke.
"Forget it," I said, breaking away from him and leaping up from the bed before he could grab me again. Not that he tried.
I ignored the blinding pain as soon as I pulled on my clothes. Nothing was worse than lingering in his presence another moment. Not when the sweetness of his attention had become bitter poison.
"Eddie, you can't go out there like this," he said, already on his feet.
"Why?" I challenged, snatching my jacket off the floor once I was dressed the rest of the way. "Because you give a shit, or because you don't want anyone to see?"
“You’re being dramatic,” he scolded. “Are you seriously throwing a fit because we didn’t, what, cuddle?”
“Of course not!” I snapped, humiliation burning in my cheeks.
“You’re the one who came here,” he pressed. “You knew what this was.”
“It’s not just this,” I said, gesturing to the rumpled bed that somehow looked even more trashed than the rest of the room. “It’s the way things have been ever since the first time.”
“And how is that?” he asked with an exasperated sigh. I was used to him acting like being around me was a chore, but for some reason, it stung more this time.
I shook my head, searching for the words and coming up empty. “I don’t know,” I finally admitted. “Just different. I thought things were different. Then today… I thought maybe it meant something to you.”
“It’s sex,” he said flatly. Like I was being an irrational idiot, and hell, maybe I was. “It’s not that deep.”
His words felt like a knife in the gut. I folded my arms, hugging myself because it felt like the pieces of me were drifting even further apart than ever. It wasn’t just my wolf and human natures that were at war, it was everything, all at once. “Maybe not to you.”
My words actually seemed to take him by surprise, and for a moment, something besides apathy and condescension entered his gaze. It disappeared quickly enough, and he breathed a dry laugh.
“God. Arrow was right.”
I flinched at the mention of the other hunter’s name, especially during such an intimate moment. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“He said you were getting attached,” he answered.
I frowned. I’d expected something a hell of a lot more scathing than that, even if the way he said it made it feel like a crime. “Is that such a terrible thing?” I asked.
“It’s a mistake,” he said firmly. “Sex is one thing, but this can’t go anywhere. You get that, right?”
His words were another slap in the face, and I found it hard to look him in the eye, but I forced myself anyway. “Why?” It was the last question I should have asked, if only because I already knew the answer was one I couldn’t handle.
Castor just continued to stare at me for a few moments, as if he couldn’t believe I was making him put it into words. As if it should have been obvious from the beginning. And I guess it should have.
