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The simple blood test took no time at all, and Dr. Collins assures me the results will be back quickly. I stop at the cafeteria and purchase two cups of coffee for Sarah and me. When I return, Sarah is still in the room with Ashley. I don’t think it’s an appropriate time to interrupt, so I ask the nurses to let Sarah know I’ll be in the waiting room.
I must have dozed for a little while, because the next thing I know, Sarah’s rubbing my shoulder to wake me up. “Sorry, I fell asleep…is everything okay?” I stand, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
“She’s feeling much better. They gave her something to make her comfortable.”
“That’s great news. Is Ben coming tonight?”
“I called and explained everything to him. I told him there was no reason for him to rush up here, so he decided to come tomorrow.”
I put my arm around her shoulder. “I should take you home to get some rest.” I suggest, worried about how pale and tired she looks.
“Okay, but first…” Fidgeting nervously, she lets out a long sigh. “Ashley got a glimpse of you before, pacing outside her room, and she asked if she could meet you before we go.”
My eyes grow wide. I honestly didn’t think I’d be meeting my daughter tonight. “Uhh, sure, if that’s what she wants, then I’d love to meet her.”
It’s funny how many patients’ rooms I’ve entered over the years, but this time is so much more significant, and life-defining. I take tentative steps behind Sarah letting her go first, considering I’m scared shitless.
Ashley's tiny body lies helpless in her hospital bed, her back facing the door, and she seems to be asleep. Sarah takes a seat next to her as I stand back waiting for approval.
“Hey, sweetheart. Are you still up for this?” Sarah whispers as she pets her hair.
“I feel better. I’m just tired,” Ashley’s tiny voice squeaks out.
“Luke’s here if you’re still up to it. Otherwise, we can do it tomorrow.”
“No, now is good,” my daughter says with a determined voice and begins to sit up with Sarah’s help. Sarah adjusts the bed, and when I catch sight of Ashley’s tiny, frail body and pale complexion, worry punches me square in the gut, knocking all the wind out of me.
My heart hurts, and I’m suddenly finding it difficult to breathe as I stare down at this young, beautiful little girl fighting for her life.My little girl!
It strikes me at this moment—I will fight, I will sacrifice—I will give it all up for her, for both of these women. I resolve here and now to do anything for them. I want these girls in my life.
Sarah waves me over, and Ashley pats the bed, coaxing me to take a seat at the edge. The cute little smirk on her face reminds me of Sarah’s. The color of her eyes are a bit lighter than her mom’s, but there’s no mistaking she belongs to Sarah. She doesn’t seem nervous. Meanwhile, I’m silently freaking out. My heart is racing like the wind as I take a seat at the edge of the bed and smile nervously.
“Hello, Ashley.”
“Hi,” she squeaks back.
“How are you feeling now?” I ask, not sure how this conversation should go.
“Much better now. I just wanted to meet you and say thank you for trying to help me.”
She seems so mature and sweet—so perfect—I can’t help but grin from ear to ear. “Ashley, I would do anything for you.”
“Well, even if it doesn’t work out, I want you to know how much I appreciate you coming here to try,” she murmurs with a discouraged look on her face.
“Hey, sweetheart…” I place my palm on her leg; even though she is under a blanket I feel the need to touch her for the first time, just to make sure she’s real. “Listen, I know this is a shock for both of us, but I am truly honored to meet you, and I want you to know, I have a good feeling about this working out. You’re going to be out of this place, and back at school with your friends, in no time.” She gives me a reassuring smile. “I know you’re tired, and I think you should get some rest, but I’d like to stop in again tomorrow if that’s okay with you? I’ll even bring you some ice cream if you tell me your favorite flavor.”
She beams at the mention of ice cream. “I’d like that. Mint chocolate chip is my jam.”
I chuckle, and she holds out her hand like she wants me to give her a handshake. Instead, I rise from the end of the bed, leaning over to drop a kiss on the top of her head. “Get some rest, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I pace out of the room, wishing I could change places with her. For the first time in a long time I pray to God—pray that I’m a match and I can save this beautiful precious girl.
The drive home is quiet, and the exhaustion on Sarah’s face is unmistakable. “She’s your spitting image. She reminds me of when I first met you,” I mutter, placing my hand over hers. She doesn't pull away, but she’s tense.
“She’s my everything, Luke, and I don’t know how to help her.”
