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"Yes, I know they are. I can sense them." And it's comforting.
“I’m proud of you. This hasn't been an easy journey, but you got there. Perhaps Aunt Beth’s death wasn’t completely in vain then,” Rhia says, sounding melancholic. “After all, it was the catalyst for us finally booking this trip.”
It’s depressing it took another tragedy for Rhia and me to get our act together and go on this long-planned trip to Sicily. In an accident similar to my parents, Rhia lost her favorite aunt, who was only forty-five years old.
Her death was a poignant reminder of how temporary life is. Something snapped inside me, and I woke up from my self-imposed stupor, realizing how much precious time I’ve wasted being hung up about the past—a past I can’t change.
The day after the funeral, Rhia and I searched for our bucket-lists and renamed them Fuck-It Lists… because fuck it all, we are going to tick off every item and add a few new ones.
No more delaying what makes us happy!
No more excuses why we can’t do things!
Carpe diem.Let’s make the most of every day.
That was a month ago. And now here we are, in Sicily, ticking off the first item on our lists.
My heart takes a leap and then stops for a beat or two, leaving me breathless. I clutch my chest, a little startled.
“Don’t you think this place feels a lot like Mount Parnassus, the Oracle of Delphi?” Rhia asks out of the blue, distracting me from what just happened.
I’m trying to think back to our time in Greece three years ago when we stopped at that renowned site and compare it to here, the Valley of the Temples in Agrigento. Just like at Delphi, I like to imagine us surrounded by the spirits of the wise, filling our minds with profound wisdoms.
“Hmm, it certainly feels mystical here, but there is no gas smell, unless it's odorless. Why? Are you divining a prophecy?”
“I wish. Because I’d really like to know when Lex will have cellphone reception again. It’s been ten days since I last talked to him, and I miss hearing his voice. I really hate it when he gets these remote jobs in South America. Honestly. Why do these crooks have to hide their planes in the jungle?” she huffs.
Alexander, her boyfriend of two years, is an aircraft recovery pilot, and is often gone for weeks at a time.
“Probably because a plane is harder to find there?” I offer.
Rhia shakes her head, annoyed. “Talking about prophecies… Do you remember that guy on our Scotland trip two years ago? The one who gave you the prophetic riddle? ”
“You mean drunken Gandalf? Who could forget him?”
“What did he say again?” She thinks for a moment, tapping her index finger against her lips. Then, conjuring up the best drunk Scottish accent she can muster, she invokes, “Your soul is not in one but three. Find all parts, you must, to be completely free.”
Rhia laughs heartily, but I don’t join in. To be honest, it scared me back then, and it still does now. I wanted to brush off the silly man’s mysterious premonition, but it struck a cord.
My soul got broken into three the day my parents died. We were a unit, a close-knit one, and to be complete again, I’d have to reunite with them.
And doesn’t that mean I’d have to die?
I’m not ready for that. Not after my epiphany about living life to the fullest.
I want to find my forever love first—the kind my parents had, the kind Rhia and Lex share.
Sometimes I’m close to giving up hope. I split up with Marco over two years ago, and there has been no one I wanted to be with since or had even the slightest attraction to.
And why has my best friend found her happily ever after when she never wanted it in the first place?
Perhaps that’s the trick—not wanting it? But how can you not want something your heart and soul yearn for so deeply?
Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond thrilled for Rhia. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer person, and Lex is the perfect match for her. He knows just how to tame her wild inner goddess while giving her wings to fly.
But come on Universe… when is it going to be my turn?
Rhia and I are strolling down a quiet street in Taormina on the Sicilian east coast.
