Page 80 of Nights At Sea


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I turn to my other side, restless. My stomach still rumbles, and there’s no way I can sleep. I check the time. It’s half-past one, too late to ask Mariella to get me something.

With a sigh, I get out of bed and open the door to my room. The hallway is lit by dimmed lights spaced out evenly along the bottom of the walls on both sides. It reminds me of a landing strip for airplanes.

Making my way to the kitchen, I’m surprised nobody stops me. I guess I’m living in a fortress, and Gualtiero is confident I can’t escape from here.

Everything looks different in the semi-dark, and I get confused which corridor to take in this labyrinth of a house. Surprising myself, I find the kitchen on my first attempt. Maybe my navigational sense is nocturnal.

As I enter, I stop in my tracks. Someone is already here.

Alonso stands by the island, chopping vegetables, a frying pan sizzling on the stove next to him. It smells delicious, and my mouth waters. He looks up briefly and nods without stopping what he’s doing. I hesitate to walk over, guilt eating at me at the sight of the burly man.

He could have been dead because of me. My impulsive decision put his life at risk. I lower my eyes to the floor, ashamed of my actions.

Put on your big girl panties, Ella!You created this mess; you clean it up.

Taking a deep, calming breath, I enter the kitchen.

“Alonso,” I begin, and wait until his gaze meets mine. His face is expressionless, giving nothing away. “I want to apologize for what happened. I was reckless and put you and your men in danger. I’m really sorry.”

The only acknowledgment of my apology is a curt nod. The friendliness between us gone, and I can’t blame him.

“Thank you for coming to my rescue,” I say, my voice soft and sincere. “I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into. I’m truly grateful for your help.”

I mean every word.

I know he was just doing his job but he saved my life. How could I ever repay him?

His life most likely would have been on the line if he hadn’t recovered me, but it doesn’t diminish what he did. I had all day to think about the peril I had voluntarily walked into, and it made me sick to the bone.

Oma’s saying“Act in haste, repent in leisure”came to mind a lot, and what happened was a classic example of it.

By following Sophia, I not only gambled my life, but Gualtiero’s and his men’s as well. I had no sense of the consequences and the damage it would cause. As a result, I have the life of at least two people on my conscience.

They might have been the enemy but they are dead, and I’m responsible for it. I hang my head in shame, nausea consuming my stomach.

My gut feeling was way off, too. There was no warning… or I didn’t allow enough time to tune in. In any case, it’s a clear sign I’m not in the right frame of mind to make any big decisions.

Perhaps the sedatives they gave me have messed with my senses, or the stress of being kidnapped is catching up with me. Whatever the reason, I need to think things through more.

No more spontaneous acts of defiance.

Despite my lingering anger with Gualtiero, my heart has somewhat softened toward him. His devotion to my safety from the moment we met is sinking in.

Up until now, I didn’t fully believe him that people were out to get me and thought it was one of his scare tactics to keep me from running.

How wrong could I have been?

Remorse fills me. I won’t be so reckless again.

But I also won’t accept my fate of having to stay here for the rest of my life. I just have to come up with a carefully thought-out plan, and I have all the time in the world to develop it.

Patience, I remind myself, is a virtue.

My dad often quoted the words of William Penn, and it’s like he’s reminding me of them now.“Patience and diligence, like faith, remove mountains.”

And it will be a mountainous task to get away from Gualtiero and this life I’ve become trapped in.

Alonso’s eyes lift from the chopping board to mine, and he regards me for a moment. He grinds his teeth as if debating with himself about saying something.

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