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Lex is enjoying this. He taps his fingers against his lips, thinking. “The paramedics would have to be trained in treating all the normal body traumas, plus have special knowledge of the reproductive organs.”
“And of asses,” Aiden adds. “I read a story recently about a couple who found their seven-inch sex toy missing, just to realize it had disappeared up the girl’s ass. The couple tried—and failed—to remove the toy using a fork handle and barbecue prongs.” We all cringe simultaneously. “They did, in fact, have to call an ambulance, and doctors surgically removed the toy. I believe it’s actually quite common. Your paramedic service could have legs.”
Rhia grins. “Yes, it so does. Imagine what stories the medics could tell at their Christmas party!”
“And can you imagine the customer reviews on your website?” Lex adds.
“Oh my god.” She begins laughing uncontrollably as a story clearly plays out in her mind. When she comes up for air, she fills the rest of us in. “Imagine this… ‘I was on top of a wardrobe in my Spiderman suit ready to jump onto my naked girlfriend when the top of the wardrobe collapsed. Luckily, my girlfriend was able to call the KinkyFails customer assistance line. They were there in twenty minutes and got me out of that cupboard in no time. I also liked how they complimented me on how sexy my girlfriend is. They even gave me some pointers on how to avoid this from happening again as they took me to the hospital. They were really cool—five stars.’”
All of us are in stitches now, which only spurs Rhia on. Then she deepens her voice, pretending to be a man. “My partner and I were enjoying a forest scene between two bunnies when I got my dick caught in a rabbit trap. I was losing a lot of blood, but the KinkyFails paramedics had me out in no time. Thanks to their quick action, I still have about eighty percent of my penis. They saved my sex life. Six out of five stars.”
We’re all bending over with laughter. “Stop, stop. No more.” I can hardly breathe, my stomach hurting. Aiden is clutching his abdomen too, tears rolling down his face.
I glance at our little group. What a brilliant evening. I’m surrounded by the most important people in my world and everybody is laughing and happy.
Life is good. Really, really good.
Chapter Thirty-One
Gualtiero
Myeyelidsgrowheavyand I blink slowly, trying to keep my eyes open, but it’s a losing battle. I read the email on my computer for the sixth time now, but it’s blurry.
Fuck, I’m tired. Tired of everything.
Before Ella, I had a purpose… actually, make that two. There was our family business—growing it, bringing it into this century with new lines, and perfecting it for the next generation of De Marcos.
I had a little fun on the side with the girls in my clubs, but that never distracted me from my other purpose.
Findingher, making her mine, and securing my blood line.
It never seemed a problem in my mind but now looks almost impossible.
Days go by with no news of Ella. She can’t have disappeared off the face of the earth, surely, before too long there will be a sign, a trace of her somewhere.
I will find her, but the more time ticks by, the more someone else has a chance to weasel their way into her life. But she wouldn’t let that happen, would she? Still, that niggling feeling I’ve had for weeks persists.
She’s mine. Always will be.
She wouldn’t betray me. She knows the consequences.
But she assumes we’re over. She might feel free to move on. But how could anybody move on from an earth-shattering connection like the one we shared? It’s impossible.
But it’s natural to fill a void, isn’t it? Would she allow somebody else to touch her?
No. No, she loves me, and Ella is the kind of woman who, once she gives her heart, gives it fully.
Her heart is mine, just like mine is hers.
We’re meant to be, and we will be together again, dammit.
I never imagined my life could be turned upside down by a woman, but even my business decisions are made with her in mind… presently, that would be eliminating anyone who poses a calculable threat to her safety.
It had the welcome side effect of us growing and expanding our territories and business, and increased the cash flow pouring in. And it’s needed. With this growth comes more staff and the need for more vetting the new recruits. New capos need to be appointed, more soldiers procured.
I can’t trust the men we let live in our takeovers; they will start at the bottom of the ladder until they’ve proven themselves loyal to my family. It’s risky but can’t be avoided with such a sudden expansion.
Emiliano is retiring at the end of the year—the timing couldn’t be worse. He’s been with my family for forty years, the last fifteen as consigliere. He was a close friend of my father’s and is an invaluable asset to me. Though we clashed a few times over the years, his advice has always been wise.
